


The Oractoclitic Dimension

by violetblur



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Dimension, Artist Steve Rogers, Blow Jobs, Bottom Tony Stark, Explicit Sexual Content, Fix-It, HYDRA!Tony, Hurt Tony, Hydra (Marvel), Kidnapping, M/M, Magic, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sexual Content, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin, Surgery, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Nightmares, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Top Steve Rogers, not in detail, talking about suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-05-04 06:50:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14587371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetblur/pseuds/violetblur
Summary: Tony has been plagued by the dreams that the Scarlet Witch implanted into his mind for almost 6 years now. He finally decides he can't take it anymore and visits the Avenger's resident Sorcerer Supreme, who offers to send him into an alternate dimension so his subconscious may right its wrongs and leave his sleep nightmare-free. Tony then realizes he can't just fix his problems with Steve in his dreams, that he needs to fix them in real life too. Can Tony do it? Or will his former lover just keep avoiding him?





	1. Chapter 1

Tony didn't want to get up. It felt like the left side of his body had fused with the covers of his bed, the high thread count sheets leaving an imprint on his sleep warm skin. He threw an arm over his eyes in a futile attempt to block out the sun rays streaming through the windows FRIDAY had taken it upon herself to open. He groaned.

"The one time I manage to actually make it to my bed and sleep like a normal person, you have to open the windows at 7 AM like a farmer!" FRIDAY simply chuckled in her familiar Irish lilt.

"Sorry, boss. Your schedule appears to be very busy today, with meetings beginning at 8:30 AM. I figured waking you up an hour and a half early would give you time to, as Ms. Romanoff likes to say, 'get pretty'." Tony groaned again and contemplated throwing a pillow at the AI. He realized once again his efforts would be futile, seeing as how the AI was everywhere in the compound. He couldn't escape anywhere her eyes couldn't see, except maybe Banner's lab, as per his own requests. To some, an all-seeing robot would be a reason to be scared, but, for Tony, the feeling of having someone there for him constantly was more of a comfort than he cared to admit.

Eventually, Tony acquiesced to the AI's demands and untangled himself from the heap of blankets in his bed, also known as the only things making his forever empty bed seem smaller than it actually was. Tony could spread-eagle himself, all limbs stretched to maximum length, and he still had at least five feet to go before he reached the other end of the bed. Sometimes, late at night, the empty bed was yet another reminder that Tony had no one to share the bed with. It seemed everyone had someone except the inventor. 27 years on this planet, and he'd never had an intimate relationship that had lasted longer than a night.

He huffed and swung his legs onto the cold wooden floor. He stood up on shaky legs and walked to his ensuite bathroom. He removed his straight razor from its sheath, lathered shaving cream on his face and neck, and carefully guided the blade of the razor down the smooth contours of his face. He paid extra attention when his hand reached his jawline, gliding his razor along the stubbled curves of his face and now neck, careful to avoid nicking himself.

Satisfied with the clean shave he had given himself, Tony used a beige washcloth that matched his towels to wipe off the remaining lather. He reached for his muskily scented aftershave, pouring a quarter-sized amount into his calloused palm. He spread the cool cream between his hands and wiped it over his freshly shaved face and neck, stopping just above his cheekbones. He washed off the remaining product underneath the steady stream of hot water pouring from his tap. Tony shut it off and stalked over to his closet.

FRIDAY already had a freshly pressed Armani two-piece suit hanging on a wooden hanger in the large storage area. The suit was simple yet stylish, as per Tony's signature. The gray color of the suit was something similar to the graphite of a pencil, and the matching tie was a deep blue, almost black in color. He had preferred to dress in grays lately, for no reason other than fashion, but the media was having a spree, inane guesses about whether or not the drab wardrobe (and the missing signature Van Dyke beard) meant more. Tony couldn't help but chuckle in amusement. No alien invasions as of late left the media with nothing, and they had to fight for scraps like hungry dogs. He huffed and fastened the pants around his slender waist. He reached for a belt on the rack next to him and led it through his belt loops. He fastened the belt, shrugged on an undershirt, buttoned up a white shirt, and put on the suit jacket. Tony ran his hand through his hair and tried to put a smile on his face before he faced the other Avengers he knew were just waking up (farmers) and enjoying their breakfasts. He pushed open the heavy door and braved the day. 

* * *

Tony knew sharing the compound with both Steve and Bucky would be difficult for him. Ever since the members on Steve's side of the "Civil War" (as the animalistic media enjoyed calling their fight) had received their pardons from the United States' government, Tony had been graciously housing them inside the compound, even going as far as replacing Bucky's metal arm with one that hurt the man less and giving Cap a new shield. He didn't know what more to do to resolve the tension between the three of them, but as far as Tony was aware, he had done everything in his power to make things less hard between them. But, that didn't stop both of America's favorite heroes from avoiding him like the plague. Every time the mechanic walked into a room, the two men would make a hasty excuse to leave, usually along the lines of, "Bucky's arm needs to be calibrated". Tony was damn sure the arm didn't need to be calibrated. After all, he had made the arm himself, and a Stark-made machine was likely to never need a tuneup. 

As he suspected, the moment he walked into the kitchen, Steve gave him a once-over and set his coffee down on the counter. He grabbed Bucky's arm, startling him, and pulled him down the hallway, muttering something about a run before the day began. Tony ignored the fact that their running clothes already had sweat stains on them, and that Cap would never do something like indulging in caffeine (or any drink for that matter) before a run. It seemed the other patrons of the kitchen, including Nat, Clint, and Vision, knew this as well and looked at Tony with a mixture of apologetic and pitying glances. Tony hated that the looks were the only greeting he could muster out of the group.

"Good morning, comrades!" Tony quipped in his best everything-is-ok-and-I-don't-feel-like-shit voice. He could tell by the lingering looks on their faces that it hadn't worked. Natasha looked at him once more sadly before gesturing to the half-full coffeepot. 

"There's still some left if you want any," she said weakly. "Steve makes the best coffee in the compound and, well, we all know how you run on the stuff." Tony smiled gratefully at her.

"Don't mind if I do!" He grabbed the largest mug out of the cupboard. Natasha was right about Steve and the coffee, even though Tony would never willingly admit the fact to the rest of the team.  _I'd rather lose a finger. Hell,_ all _my fingers._ He still had no idea how the drink could turn out so differently for the two of them, even though they had used the same machine and coffee beans to make it.  _Just Golden Boy's magic touch,_ Tony thought. "I'd love to stay for the gossip, ladies, but I have a meeting to get to!" He finished his sentence, already in the elevator. Vision looked confused at his misgendering and Clint just scowled. Tony had no idea why Clint was even awake this early. He tended not to get his lazy ass out of bed until noon at the earliest. 

FRIDAY gave him his daily run-down as the elevator descended to the garage. "Today, boss, you have a meeting with Director Fury at 8:30, as you are already aware. You also have a meeting scheduled with Dr. Strange at his SHIELD headquarters residence at 1:00 PM." Tony paled when he remembered his meeting with the elusive Doctor Steven Strange. He had been putting the meeting off as long as he could, not wanting to face Strange's piercing gaze and funny speech. Tony had noticed that the doctor tended to speak in as long as words as possible. He suspected Strange spent every moment of his free time reading the dictionary, trying to find words to make him feel bigger than everyone else. So far, it had worked. It worked so well that Tony had begun to dread to meet the doctor. He had only meet Strange a few times before, not counting the times they had worked together to defend the planet from internal or external threats. 

The settling of the moving box on the bottom floor of the compound and the corresponding soft chime of the elevator doors pulled Tony out of his stupor. He wasn't looking forward to the day ahead, but he needed to get through these meetings without a hitch. Fury had been questioning his mental stability lately as if he didn't receive enough of that from the media (Tony was beginning to realize he had a soft spot up his ass for the media). He knew he hadn't been running to the best of his abilities these past few months since the return of Natasha, Clint, Wanda, Scott, Sam, Bucky, and Steve. He had enjoyed the comfortable silence he had experienced in the fairly empty compound before Steve's side returned, surrounded by only Rhodey, Vision, and few others. Now that the rest of the team was back, Tony's life was more chaotic. The man had been ensuring everyone's comfort before his own, and what had he received in return? Sleepless nights and pitying gazes. What a great prize! He should take shitty care of himself more often. Oh wait, that's what he spent every moment of every day doing! What a wonderful life. 

Tony shook his head to clear the image of the two of them out of his mind as he slipped into his relatively nondescript car. He was trying to draw as little attention to himself and SHIELD as he could. He was slightly aware that even driving a car in downtown New York City was enough to drive attention to himself, even if his car of choice was a sleek space gray Jaguar. New Yorkers and their hatred of cars. Tony didn't see what the fuss was all about. Driving recklessly was enough to take his mind off of all of the other reckless things he put himself through daily, especially on the battlefield. Tony sighed and flipped open the mirror in the visor, adjusting his tinted sunglasses in the small reflection. He flipped the visor closed, opened the garage door, and sped out of the garage as fast as he could. All this contemplation was making him late for his meeting. 

* * *

Tony thought he would never wish the torture of a briefing with Fury on his worst enemy. Nick Fury was well known around SHIELD for being the most boring person to listen to during a meeting, the monotonous drone of his voice going in one ear and out the other. The former King of Boredom was Agent Phil Coulson, but unforeseen circumstances had removed him from the position. But, at least Coulson could see how his droning was irritating the unfortunate listeners. Fury just kept talking like he was the most interesting person in the world. Tony believed that crown was taken by him. No wonder his therapist had called him a narcissist, he thought to no one in particular. 

"Stark? Are you listening to me?" Fury's sudden change of tone was the only thing drawing Tony out of his comatose state. 

"Yes, Nicholas. I am. Now, what was it you were saying?" He asked with a smile dripping with the innocence that could only be procured by the guilty. Fury just rolled his eyes. He was used to Tony's antics concerning meetings. He knew the man hated to be cooped up in a drab office like this, they all did, but there were serious things they needed to discuss regarding rising tensions between North Korea and the United States. He was in the middle of asking Tony what the inventor thought about sending some automated peacekeepers (who, by the way, were much more friendly and unhackable than the Iron Legion) to inconspicuously spy on their leader and report concerning behavior back to the Americans. Fury had heard through the grapevine (aka FRIDAY) that Tony was working on something that would work for the American government's needs and was in the middle of pitching the idea to Tony.

"I was  _trying_ to ask you if you would consider furthering your endeavors into those robot peacekeepers I heard you were working on," Fury said. Tony's eyes widened and Fury thought the man might finally be paying attention, but his hopes were squashed when Tony opened his mouth again.

"And who exactly told you what I was working on? Was it FRIDAY again? I have  _got_ to keep you out of her coding! What an invasion of privacy." Fury just huffed, his annoyance with Stark increasing by the second. 

"Whatever, Stark. I'll just send a run down to FRIDAY and she can do with it what she must, like actually making you pay one damn ounce of attention. Now, get out." Tony hopped out of his chair giddily. 

"Goodbye, Nicholas!" He called over his shoulder as he practically bounded out of the office.  

Tony checked his automated wristwatch on the way out of Fury's office. Was it really 1:00 already? Fury had managed to take up too many precious hours in Tony's day so far, and he thought it better to forget everything the senior man had said in order to not let him occupy a second more. He straightened and buttoned his suit jacket with the single silver embellishment sliding into the buttonhole with much more effort than Tony deemed necessary.  _Damn these suits! All fashion and no practicality_. He walked along the sterile hallways, still grumbling about Fury and the suit until he reached Strange's office. Better to be early and unexpected than late and chastised.  He rapped his knuckles against Strange's door twice. He hoped Strange was currently occupying the office. Tony knew he didn't have enough time to grab lunch and return in time for his meeting with the doctor. Tony's silent tapping of his (heeled) shoe against the smooth tile was interrupted when a tired-looking Strange pulled open the heavy mahogany door leading to his office.  _More like a cavern than an_ office,Tony thought to himself when the interior of the room revealed itself to be a dark room only illuminated by two or three weak lamps. The lamps turned out to be some of those Himalayan salt lamps old ladies collected from TJMaxx. Tony couldn't contain a small laugh which got him a sharp glare from Strange. 

"Stark, if you're done laughing at my decorations, I would like for you to sit down," Strange said as he gestured to a beaten up couch in the corner of his office. Tony could barely see the location of the couch against the wall due to the blinds being drawn tightly shut. 

Tony meandered over to the couch and dropped himself down with a slight thump and a shower of dust following this action. Tony coughed dramatically and Strange rolled his eyes at him. Strange shut the heavy door with his elbow and sat on the chair facing Tony. "I feel like this is some kind of therapy appointment or something, Strange. If I wanted to confess all my sins, don't you think I would do it in the presence of someone a bit more confidential, like a priest?" 

"Stark," Strange sighed, "I do not have time for your theatrics. I was barely able to squeeze you in today. I should be at the Sanctum, and here I am sacrificing my time for you. Let us cut straight to the chase." Tony paled a bit. He wanted to give himself as much time as possible before actually confronting the reason why he had come to Strange for help. 

He shivered uncomfortably and locked his eyes with Strange's stern gaze. "I wanted to talk to you about some dreams I've been having lately. I know you're no sort of mental health doctor or anything, but I think said dreams have something to do with magic or brain science, whatever it is you do." Strange nodded for him to continue. "Every time I shut my eyes, these dreams start. They always begin the same way. There's always a portal open, and I can see the Chitauri vehicles from the Battle of New York entering the atmosphere. At my feet, everyone is lying in a pool of their own blood. Everyone is dead, except for-," Tony shivered again and tried to blink the prickling feeling of tears from his eyes, "e-except for Steve. He pulls me closer and whispers 'You could- you could've saved us'." Tony's voice cracked as he recited the same sentence he'd been hearing in his dreams for going on 6 years now. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve and he wasn't surprised to see that the sleeve was wet. Strange's gaze became more sympathetic, and he nodded again to encourage Tony to keep talking. "H-he then lets go of me and I can see him take his final breath, and the light goes out of his eyes. He's just left laying there next to everyone else, eyes open but dead and aimed at the sky." Tony's eyes were squeezed shut, the image of Steve's dead eyes filling up his head. He choked out a sob in the quiet room. "I just can't stand to see it anymore. I look at him and he looks away. He always avoids me and leaves as soon as I enter the room. I can't stand it anymore! I've pined after him for years and I finally thought he might've felt the same. He betrayed me. And every night in my dreams I see his cold, dead body. It's torture!" Tony's eyes were now brimming with salty tears. He tried to shut his eyes to keep them from escaping to no avail. "That damn witch put that dream in my head and now I can't get rid of it. I just need your help." Tony buried his head in his hands, letting the tears pour from his eyes. He knew he loved Steve. He always had and he was sure he always will, but seeing him turn him away during the day and seeing him die during the night was killing Tony. He honestly wasn't sure he could put up with it anymore.

"I just don't know what to do about it, Stephen. Every time I close my eyes, the vision of everyone I know and love flashes in front of my eyes like it's tattooed on the back of my eyelids," Tony struggled to say in between gasps for breath. "I just want it all to end."

Stephen looked at the man coming apart before him. Stark's head was buried in his hands but they did nothing to muffle the small sobs coming from his mouth, sounds of absolute desperation and despair. Stephen didn't know what to do to comfort the man, seeing as how they had only known each other for a few months, but he could tell the heavy blanket of anguish around the man was not going away any time soon. He knew he had to do something before Tony took matters into his own hands. He knew if that happened he'd have more than one pissed of superhuman on his tail.

"I think I can offer you an alternative," Stephen began. He paused to make sure he had captured Tony's attention and continued when Tony looked up at him warily. "I think there might be a way to send you into a different dimension, where you can correct your wrongs with the team and trick your subconscious into thinking that you have made amends with everyone, especially Captain Rogers. (Stephen had yet to meet the man, much less earn the rights to use his familiar name). I think that if you are able to contact the Captain in the dimension and hash out your worries, that it will trick the limbic system and the amygdala into thinking there is nothing to fear and that they no longer need to produce the dreams you are viewing during REM sleep." Stephen thought to himself that Stark hadn't enjoyed a nice night of REM sleep in a few years, judging by the deep plum carved out circles under his eyes. "Some parts of the frontal lobes are inactive during dreams, causing us to confuse reality with fantasy. I think that should you communicate with the Captain in the alternate dimension, that the active part of your brain during those dreams will recall the experience and produce a dream based on those memories instead of the ones the Scarlet Witch procured using the powers given to her by the mind stone." Stark wiped off his eyes with the sleeve of his suit jacket and made a weak attempt at cracking a joke.

  
"If I'm in this so-called 'alternate dimension', are you sure that my brain won't remember that it was just all some big magic thingy that you put me in? Won't my subconscious remember that what happened in the dimension wasn't real?" Tony asked.

  
Stephen paused a moment in thought and then answered Tony's question. "Well, like I said earlier, the limbic system controls dreams, but it also controls memories. The amygdala happens to be a major player in both cranial functions. When- _if_ you go to the alternate dimension, your memory will recall the events but it won't be strong enough during sleep to recall that the events were planned. Once the memory has made its way into storage, the active part of your brain during dreams won't be able to tell the difference. The conscious part of your brain will be able to tell, but only outside of the dreams. I do highly recommend that you make amends with Captain Rogers in both your subconscious and conscious for your own personal well being, though." Tony snorted at Stephen.

  
"Do you really think that if I could say something to the man that I would've by now? Every time I walk into the room, he makes some dumbfuck excuse for him and that cyborg to leave. I'm _barely_ lucky enough to get those other Team Cap members to even acknowledge me; the one who oh-so-generously supplies their room and board and any other demands they might need me to fill. Lately, I'm feeling like it's futile to even _try_  to make up with those bastards. Nevertheless, I do everything in my power to make their stay at the Avengers compound as comfortable and incognito from the US government as possible! If Ross found out half the shit they’ve done, he'd shit his pants in excitement and throw us all back into that damn Raft." Tony's face had become flushed during his ranting and arm waving at Stephen. He opened his mouth to add another crack at the Avengers but snapped it shut when Stephen held up a hand, signaling no more. 

  
"Stark, I want to do all that I can to help you, but you can't be back to normal if you don't try to fix your situation with Captain Rogers, Sargeant Barnes, and the rest of the Avengers. You're only going to be fixing half of the problem if you decide to venture out to the alternate dimension. You need to fix all of it to be whole again." Tony's eyes widened when he let Stephen's words sink in. He began to think about the camaraderie and easy banter he had had with the rest of the team, and how he had begun to miss Natasha's all-seeing eyes, or Clint's witty sarcastic humor, or Wanda's curiosity to learn, or Wilson's solid presence, or Lang's passion for science, or, or, or Steve's passion for his team members, his broad shoulders, his Brooklyn accent, his Boy Scout etiquette, his determination, his persistence, his compassion, his bravery- Tony could go on for days listing off all the Captain's admirable traits. His heart yearned to be near him again, to wake up to the smell of bacon in the morning and watch those chiseled arm muscles do something as mundane as flip a piece of frying meat. You never know what you have until it's gone. 

But, every rose had its thorns. Steve could sure as hell be an arrogant and stubborn asshole. He was a do-gooder who thought the world was always black and white, right and wrong. Tony had learned the hard way that not everything had such solid borders. He had always tried to stay on one side or another, but these past few years he had been living more in the grey area. His fight with Steve was one of the examples of the times the Captain could be so sure of the difference between right and wrong. Steve had thought that the right thing to do in that situation was to run from Tony and keep Bucky as far out of his grip as possible. Tony had never intended to turn the man into the authorities. He had just wanted to talk to him and Steve and figure out the best way to go about signing the Sokovian Accords from there, to see if they could possibly add an amendment or two regarding the wellbeing of the formerly HYRDA soldier. Tony had experienced firsthand the way someone (Wanda) could come back from the extensive programming HYDRA had built into their minds and was ready to offer the use of his Binarily Augmented Retro Framing (BARF) device for Bucky, but Steve had attacked and left Tony with no option of calling a truce. It was true he hadn't been prepared to after he saw the video of the Winter Soldier killing Howard and his mother. He hadn't been prepared to see the way his mother had actually died, much less in the company of the man who had committed the crime and the man he trusted who had withheld it from him. Tony didn't honestly think anyone would've been prepared to see that. However, Tony was prepared to forgive him. He just wanted his life back to normal. He wanted Steve back to normal. Every time he made one of his getaways, a blade of ice shot through Tony's heart and broke it over and over. It was becoming too much to bear. So much that Tony would cut off both of his legs just for Steve to look at him again.  _That's a bit much,_ Tony thought silently. 

"I don't know if all your magic shit will actually work on a mind as fucked-up and out of the ordinary as mine, but I'm willing to try everything once," Tony said into the silent room.  _In this particular situation, I'm willing to try it until my brain explodes. Anything to get him back._

* * *

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve talks to Tony for once, instead of running away from him. But this time, it's Tony that does the running. (Literally)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Welcome to Chapter two. This chapter is kind of a filler chapter before the beefy third one, but I think it serves its purpose well. I hoped you enjoy and let me know if you spot any grammatical/spelling errors (or errors of any sort). Thanks so much, and see you next time!
> 
> Love,  
> Kmcl09

The days seemed to have grown easier ever since Tony accepted Strange's proposition to send him to the alternate dimension. He drifted through all his meetings and breezed through all of the presentations he had to give to the board of Stark Industries. He spent his remaining free time (limited as it may be, due to him accepting a position that required more of him to help take some of the pressure off Pepper's back) with his head filled with new ideas for inventions, drafting them out on paper and making the prototypes in his lab inside the Avengers Compound. His lab here was smaller than the one in Stark Tower. He had occasionally thought of going back to the lab at Stark Tower to actually get some sanctuary from the busy life and prodding he had to deal with at the compound, but he had already transferred Dum-E and U over to his new lab, and he didn't feel like trying to coerce the 15-year-old machines back into a box. The last time he had attempted to package them up, the time he brought them here, it took him 3 hours just to get them calmed down enough to even set foot (or wheel? he wasn't sure which) into the moving box. He was already stressed out enough and didn't need the additional stress of his useless but companionable robots to add to the ever-growing pile.

Tony's neck was so deep into inventing that he had forgotten to eat for, well, how many days had it been now? He knew his whole week had been cleared from meetings and other CFO obligations, and that he could spend his whole semi-vacation buried in lab work. He hadn't meant to spend the entire week in his lab, though.

"FRIDAY, how long have I been working in the lab for?" He asked.

"Approximately 142 hours, Sir." Tony's eyes widened in reaction. Almost 6 whole days? If he put some thought to it, he could almost remember eating something, likely some shitty snack food, once or twice while he was sealed in his, as Rhodey so nicely liked to call it, 'motherfucking cave, Tony'.

He put down the welding torch in his hands and pushed up his visor with a sigh. He used to be able to rely on Steve to come to his lab, usually bearing a plate of hot food, and convince him to leave the laboratory behind in favor of something like an actual good night's rest. Of course, he no longer had even the privilege of being in the same room as the man, so his hopes to be 'saved' had to be put to rest. He discarded the welding mask on top of a stack of papers detailing some new modifications for what was now Mark 60 or so of the suit, a mod that would make him able to fly in the high atmospheric pressure of the stratosphere for extended periods of time, unlike the abilities his current suits had now, where they could only withstand a flight of a couple hours or so, the maximum being five. He had wanted to reach higher altitude to stay out of the commercial planes' way. It would be faster for him to react to emergency situations if he didn't have to deal with air traffic on top of distance. The fruitless effort was likely to not work and leave him absolutely frustrated with his efforts, but he felt it was worth a try to keep his mind off of Steve. It had been working somewhat, but not quite to the extent he would've enjoyed. 

He knew that he was wasting his time working on these suit designs, but to him, the only two options were to either work on lab work or think about Steve. Clearly, he had a preference. Both activities were painful but in different ways. One type of pain Tony felt was the pain of frustration and knowing he had reached his peak in life and was quickly motoring through the descent. The other pain was that of loss. What fun! 

Tony suddenly decided to take one of his cars on a quick spin through the deserted one-lane roads of upstate New York. Some, not all, of his luxury sports cars called the compound their home, seeing as the garage was not near large enough to encompass the cars, whose count was well into the forties or fifties. A man had to get his pleasure somewhere, right? Can't always drink your thoughts into oblivion! God, he really needed to see a therapist other than Strange. Who wasn't even a real one, Tony noted. Strange understood the physical components of the brain, but near nothing about the actual  _mental_ part. The man was about as emotionally sensitive as a brick wall. Not to mention devoid of all compassion or sympathy. He seemed to be apathetic towards  _everything._ _He's 103% robot._

Tony laughed lightly to himself and began the walk to the other side of the compound, towards the garage that housed all the team's cars. (Purely for sport, where would they need to drive? The compound was over 100 acres and had a lap pool and screening room, for fuck's sake.) Tony slid his glasses down to the bridge of his nose and waited for the retinal scanner to accept him. The scanner beeped a cheery tone of approval and the door swung open with a mild creak. Tony walked inside and shut the door with a light  _thump._ The freshly polished concrete floors squeaked under his tennis shoes as he made his way to the main sector of the garage where his cars were stored. As he got closer to the door that would lead him into the garage, he could hear faint music permeating from under the door.  _Is that_ Led Zeppelin? He asked himself.  _I didn't know anyone here actually knew how to access music on JARVIS, or didn't have a shitty music taste._ Tony pushed open the door to the garage, expecting to see Wilson or Lang inside, but his breath caught in his throat. There, in the middle of the floor, Steve Rogers was sitting next to his black motorbike, tight sleeves of his black long sleeve tee shirt pushed up past his elbows. He had black grease underneath his fingernails and on his jaw, just underneath his right ear. His new, longer, slicked-back golden blond hair was streaked with the same grease that covered his hands, and some strands had fallen out of their "effortlessly combed" place. Tony walked closer without realizing it. He didn't see the wrench two feet in front of him, and he kicked it and sent it skittering across the floor. His eyes followed it as it made its journey. If Steve's enhanced hearing hadn't picked up on his arrival, it sure as hell had now. Tony looked up from the floor to find Steve looking at him with widened eyes. Tony felt his entire face heat up and go bright red. He took a few steps back, embarrassed. 

"I-I didn't mean to intrude, Steve, I'm sorry. I thought you were Wilson. I'm gonna- I'm gonna go now." Tony turned on his heel and high-tailed it out of the garage as fast as his feet could take him. Steve probably fucking thought that Tony was watching him and probably thought he was a creep. Tony absolutely couldn't wait until Steve rattled off the story of his encounter to his  _lover,_ and it made its way to Natasha, who would likely tell Clint if not everyone in the damn compound and they would hold it over his head and laugh. Tony Stark, genius billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, reduced to a sad puppy to follow Steve Rogers around forever. Tony slammed into the bathroom on the right side of the hallway and pressed his back against the door, willing his face to cool off and go back to its normal coloring before he ventured back into the compound. He splashed his face with cool water coming out of the tap. Of course, he had to see Steve today, right when he was planning on going on a joyride to get the same man off his mind. The universe seemed to enjoy playing cruel games on him. He was sure the game was titled  _How Long Can We Make Anthony Edward Stark Suffer Before He Walks Into the Ocean and Does Not Return?_ The game was only fun for one player, not both. He wiped off the water with the hem of his tee shirt. He turned towards the mirror and looked into his own eyes. He saw a tired man, eyes weary and rings around them. He could see the way his skin creased in his forehead and in between his brows.  _I'm only 35 and I'm getting wrinkles!_ He sighed discontentedly and pushed the bathroom door open. 

Tony almost jumped out of his skin when he saw Steve leaning against the wall. "I was beginning to wonder when you'd come out," Steve said, with a hint of amusement in his voice. Tony paled. 

"I'm-I'm sorry, I didn't mean t-to c-come in your space like that, R-Rogers. Um, I think- I think I'm g-going to leave now," Tony said meekly. He cursed himself for stuttering. It always seemed to come out when he was feeling nervous and vulnerable. Howard had a tendency to kick him whenever it slipped out. Tony shuddered at the memory and turned to walk out of the garage. However, the universe felt like torturing him more than usual today. What a shame.

"It's fine, Tony," Steve said softly, and Tony's breath caught. He wasn't expecting Steve to even spare him one of his glances (which Tony was absolutely  _starved_ for), much less speak to him. Tony always used to unravel whenever Steve would say his name like that. He could already feel his legs turning to jelly.  _Damn him!_ Tony had no idea why that still had the same effect on him, even after close to two years of not even talking to Steve. Tony turned to look him in the eyes. He locked eyes with Steve, relishing the privilege to finally be able to look at him again. Tony opened his mouth to try and tell Steve that no, it was fine, he was leaving anyway, no need to make a fuss, but he just couldn't form words with Steve looking at him as intensely as he was now. Tony could feel his face heating up (again, dammit). He turned once more, and walked out the door, trying his best not to stumble on the way. He could still feel Steve's eyes on his retreating form. Normally it was Steve doing the running, but the reins had switched hands. 

* * *

 

Tony didn't pay any attention to where his feet were taking him, just the swirl of thoughts in his mind, overlapping and crashing like a wild ocean hitting cliffs. The only constant in the rush was one word.  _STEVE._  Tony thought of his hair, his hands, his voice, his scent, his eyes, his shoulders, his biceps, his ears, his eyebrows, his mouth, his lips, his hips, his fingers, his everything. He was Tony's everything. 

When Tony tuned back into the world around him, he saw his feet had taken him to the roof of the compound where he and Steve used to spend their free time. Tony had thrown out all the furniture he had put up here in a fit of rage when Steve and the rest of "Team Cap" were still in Wakanda. Now, the roof was devoid of all decoration. The wind whipped through Tony's hair and the sky rumbled, dark clouds rolling in. The leaves on the trees were blowing, branches waving in response to the swift air. Tony sat on the concrete ledge of the building and let his legs swing over the edge. He looked out at the scenery surrounding him, but his eyes weren't really paying attention. He was still deep in his mind and his thoughts had taken back up swirling around Steve's name again. Tony could see snippets of him for a moment or two, only for them to be swept back up into the rush of things and replaced by another thought a second later. Tony saw Steve in the Captain America uniform, Steve's eyes, Steve laying in his bed next to him, Steve in the throes of pleasure, Steve working in his sketchbook, Steve's face illuminated by the weak light of the morning, Steve laughing as Tony stole a piece of food off his plate, Steve sitting next to him as they watched a baseball game on TV, Steve dancing around the living room, Steve sitting in a tree and calling to Tony from above, Steve making breakfast, Steve drinking a cup of coffee, Steve riding the motorcycle, Steve fighting right next to him. Tony shivered. He had been so  _empty,_ the spot right by his side unfulfilled for what had seemed like an eternity. 

Soon, the rain began to pour down in sheets. Tony ignored FRIDAY's "Sir?" and continued his solitude amongst the raindrops. He let them drip down his face, wet his hair, and soak his clothes to the bone. Luckily for him, the rain wasn't too cold, as was typical for summer storms. He wrapped his arms around his slim frame and just held himself for a while and looked out at the rolling expanse of green grass before him. The grass was becoming muddy from the excess of rain. Tony watched the streams of dirty water flow downhill towards the base of the property. He had a good vantage point of the whole compound from where he was sitting. He let the quickly flowing water whisk away his thoughts as he became entranced watching the water, despite the rain pouring into his gaze from all directions. 

Before he knew it, Tony's eyes began to match the streams of water on the ground, tears pouring down them and Tony doing nothing to stop them. He felt he had earned a chance to get his feelings out into the open, even if no one was there to hear it. To any  _normal_  person, his reaction to "conversing" with Steve might seem like no big deal at all, but to Tony, it felt like his earth was shattering. His heart was torn, trying to decide whether or not to chase after Steve and beg him to take Tony back. The other, more logical side of Tony's heart knew that he couldn't let Steve get away with what he had done. He had hidden the killer of Tony's parents from his wrath. Tony had indeed overreacted, refused to listen to what had  _truly_  happened before he tried to rip the man to shreds, although he knew he wouldn't've succeeded, Barnes would've overpowered him in a second without the suit. Tony knew he was wrong, that Barnes's mind was under HYRDA's control and he couldn't have fought off his programming even if he wanted to (which Tony was sure he did, now that he could actually think for himself). Tony had felt so utterly betrayed by someone he considered his greatest friend and his confidant, and Tony would go so far as to consider Steve his boyfriend. They had built such a strong web of trust between the two of them, but it had been shattered in an instant once Zemo showed that video. Tony didn't think he could let Steve off the hook that easily, without even an apology. Tony was lucky he hadn't collapsed when Steve had said his name. That would've been embarrassing for the both of them. 

His contemplative sojourn was interrupted when one of his prototype wrist cuffs vibrated on his wrist and a notification flashed on a projector in front of him. It read:  _Mark 64 increased altitude systems ready for testing_. Tony huffed and pushed off his ass, standing up with only a slight wobble in his knees. Who knew a physically active 35-year-old superhero could have arthritic knees like a 75-year-old man? He walked to the rooftop door and began his descent to the lab. Maybe the suit would offer a better distraction than the roof did. He wasn't too eager to find out. 

* * *

It turns out, the lab wasn't as good as a distraction as Tony would've hoped. He was still itching to get behind the wheel and forget his thoughts for a while with the only method he could think of that  _might_ work, besides the obvious drugs and alcohol. Tony was surprised he had managed to stay sober for this long, even after the loss of Steve. It had come as a surprise to him and Rhodey both. Tony'd honestly thought he would have gone back to using or drinking by now, but every time he picked up a bottle of alcohol or a bottle of pills, he could envision himself becoming Howard, which is what he vowed he would never do around the age of eight. He was scared once he began, he wouldn't be able to stop. He'd start treating people like Howard treated him and Maria, or he would lose himself in work, or he'd become a terrible person in general. He didn't want to be that way, but he had grown closer and closer to that mad that could not be every day, it seemed like. He was determined not to get there, but if he continued on the track he was on, he knew he would get there. Time to change courses. He had a meeting with Strange tomorrow afternoon, and hopefully, Tony could be put in the alternate dimension as soon as he could be. Time was certainly on his side, but he wanted to rid himself of the nightmares quickly and get it over with. The longer he stayed here, the longer he was plagued by them. 

Tony planned to make his final rounds of goodbyes. Strange had said that the trip in total would take him around three months, and he was going to be in cryostasis for the entire time. He wanted to say goodbye to Rhodey, Pepper, Vision, and Bruce. He didn't think he was going to inform Team Cap of his venture into another dimension, but it wasn't like they were going to notice, anyway. If he was lucky, they would just probably think he was locked up in his lab the whole time, and not disturb him (like they had been doing since they arrived at the compound). 

He didn't know if he was to prepare himself in any way, like packing some necessary items he could maybe take into the next dimension. He figured he would ask Strange during their meeting tomorrow. Tony decided to turn in for the night and do everything tomorrow morning. He had a long few months ahead of him, and he needed to be in peak condition. He changed into his bedclothes, brushed his teeth, and drifted off to sleep.  

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony arrives at the SHIELD compound to some suspicious activity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This chapter is a bit short, but I wanted to make sure I could post an update as soon as possible, seeing as how my last ones were spaced so far apart. I hope you enjoy!

Waking up the next morning was harder than expected. Tony had asked FRIDAY to wake him up around 5:30 so he would be able to catch the early risers before he departed for SHIELD at around 9. He rolled out of bed, surprised at his actual willingness to get out of his bed today. He changed from his sweats into some tailored navy blue pants, a silk button up shirt, and a matching navy sport coat. He left the top two buttons of his shirt unbuttoned and the top of his scarring from the reactor was visible, looking a soft pink under the fluorescent glow of his ensuite's lighting. Tony spent a few minutes "artfully" messing up his hair with a bit of wax pomade in his palms. He washed off the excess and grabbed a pair of socks from his dresser. Tony put on his shoes and left the room. As soon as he opened the door, the scent of fresh bacon wafted into his nose. He inhaled gratefully and started towards the kitchen. The hallway that separated the bedrooms from the living space was deserted, with most of the doors propped open, giving Tony a glimpse into the personalizations the other Avengers had made into their personal spaces. Wanda's room was bathed in a soft blue glow, coming from some sort of holographic projection system she had that displayed the constellations on her ceiling. Wilson's room had posters of old rock bands plastered on the walls and clothes piled haphazardly on a comfy looking armchair that he must've brought from his own home. Barnes's room was fairly devoid of personal artifacts, save a few old-looking picture frames propped up on the standard-issue desk. Tony wanted to go and look at them in more detail, but he thought it to be an invasion of Barnes's space. The last room Tony passed, the one closest to the kitchen, was Steve's. Inside Steve's room, there were plenty of picture frames of friends and fans, with letters detailing strangers' love and admiration for the famed Captain America (or was it something else now? Tony had no idea). Tony knew he was wrong for trying to make Steve choose between the Captain identity and Barnes. He knew what Steve would choose even before he asked it, but he still felt bad for making him surrender a part of himself that had been with him for more years than Tony could count. Tony tore his eyes away from the photographs, noticing that he had been lingering outside Steve's door for longer than appropriate. 

Tony had said the night before that he hadn't wanted to say goodbye to the other members of the compound, and he was going to stick with it. He just wanted to join them for breakfast like everything was normal, and not have everyone else treat him differently. "Normally" typically meant being ignored, and Tony was fine with it. He considered this to be his last meal for a few months (besides the nutrients that were pumped into his body while he was under, but he supposed that wouldn't count), and he wanted to make it a good one, even if Steve and Barnes disappeared the moment he stepped foot in the kitchen. 

As Tony approached the kitchen, he could hear the overlapping sounds of conversation and laughter as well as the sizzle of bacon coming from the kitchen. Before he made his presence known, Tony leaned against the threshold and watched the scene unfolding before him. Nat and Wanda were appearing to argue about something in Russian (which Tony wasn't even aware Wanda knew) animatedly while Vision and, was that  _Rhodey?_ were struggling to prepare crepes for the rest of the team. Rhodey had always been shit at cooking, but Tony supposed he had gotten a tip or two from Viz because the crepes he was cranking out didn't look inedible. Barnes, Clint, and Steve were watching the news and adding in bits of their thoughts between bites of fruit that a frustrated Wilson was trying to keep their hands out of as he sliced an assortment of it into a large bowl for the team to share. The three troublemakers were continuing to commandeer the fruit despite Wilson's futile efforts to keep their sneaky hands away. 

The delicious smelling bacon was sitting on a platter next to Rhodey's elbow, and Tony decided to finally make his way into the kitchen. When he walked in, however, all conversation stopped. Tony continued to pluck a decadent strip of the meat off the plate and pop the bacon into his mouth, closing his eyes and humming contentedly like the whole room wasn't watching him. "Nice job on the bacon, honeybear. Cooked. To.  _Perfection,_ " Tony said to a very surprised looking Rhodes. Rhodey pretended to cough in his elbow while giving Tony a wide-eyed look. Tony knew no one had expected him to be up this early, much less as chipper as he was currently acting. He hadn't realized that the entire team would be having breakfast at this time, but he could see the appeal. Tony usually finished his work in the lab around two or three AM and didn't wake back up until 10. That gave the team a 7 hour grace period away from his nuisance. 

He surveyed the room and saw that everyone else was giving him the same look that Rhodey had. Tony acted nonchalantly when he addressed the rest of the team. "Good morning!" He said to no one in particular. He turned back to Vision and Rhodey at the stove. "Viz, those crepes are going to burn if you don't keep an eye on them." Vision looked startled at being spoken to, but he cleared his throat and got back to work. That action seemed to cue the rest of the team to return to their activities, although now they were doing them in silence. Steve, Barnes, and Clint were no longer reaching into the fruit bowl, and Nat and Wanda were fiddling with their respective cellphones. Tony guessed they were probably texting each other.

Tony walked to the coffeemaker and began a pot of coffee. This was probably the last chance he would be able to drink coffee for a while, so he set the machine to 4 cups of coffee. That was being a bit generous, but his record coffee consumption in 24 hours was in the low teens. Coffee was basically the fuel that kept his engine running. He stood next to the machine, watching the drops of dark liquid escape through the filter and  _plink plink plink_ against the bottom of the pot. A few minutes later, the light flashed and the coffeemaker beeped, signaling the brew was finished. He began to hum as he pulled out the pot and got a mug from the cabinet. His actions were the only noise in the room beside the noises coming from the stove. Tony was surprised Steve and Barnes hadn't already left the room. They were still absolutely silent, eyes trained on the news channel in front of them. Steve's shoulders had become stiff, his loose and relaxed position from earlier was nowhere to be seen. Tony supposed that his silent presence was better than none at all. He tried to act like everything was absolutely fine as he poured the coffee into a large travel mug and added a spoonful of sugar. He only liked sugar in his first coffee of the day, finding that the sweetness helped him wake up more. He screwed the lid shut and spoke to the silent occupants of the kitchen again.

"Sorry to make my stay so short, but I have a very important meeting in-," He checked his watch, "An hour. Don't wait up on me! See you all later." He gathered his bearings-phone, keys, coffee-and left the room. He had meant to say a more heartfelt goodbye to Rhodey, but he could tell his presence was not wanted in the room. He walked to the door, sparing one last glance at Steve's tight form as he left. He walked back to the garage. Once inside, he could see that all of Steve's motorcycle things were stored away and his bike was parked neatly along all of Tony's other cars. Tony chose to ride in his charcoal gray Audi A6, the one with sleek black seats and chrome detailing. It was a four-person car, but Tony had still purchased it in hopes he could maybe share it with someone else. It was one thing to enjoy yourself in a car (haha), but it was better if you had someone else with you there, too (this was getting better and better). Tony slid into the seat and pulled out of the garage. He gave the compound one last wistful glance and set his course to SHIELD. It was finally time.

* * *

 It took Tony longer than expected to reach SHIELD headquarters, probably due to how he had lingered longer than expected on the roads and took a few back roads to enjoy the countryside around him. He knew he was acting as if he would never see his home again, but he couldn't be helped. He knew when he returned, he would be a different man in soul and possibly body, depending on where the hell exactly Strange was going to send him. Today was a perfect day though, and Tony was determined to soak in as much of it as he could. 

It was a cloudless day, with the sun high in the sky and the birds chirping in the trees. Tony had the windows open and he held his left hand outside the window, feeling the warm summer air on his hand. He hummed lightly, enjoying the silence and the noise. The interior of the car was bathed in the warm glow of sunrise with the pinks and purples of the sky creating a beautiful show. The air smelled of flowers and fresh rain. Tony wanted nothing more than to just lay down in the freshly dewed grass and soak in the sunshine. He fondly reminisced about the days he used to sit outside the student center at MIT with Rhodey, eating grapes and reading books in the sunshine. That was how they used to spend their free time, calm in each other's presence, content with life. Rhodey was one of the few people Tony felt comfortable being himself around, letting down the armor that guarded his heart. Tony had a shield around himself, keeping himself safe from anyone that could hurt him, using aloofness and humor to deflect any potential harm. It had taken Rhodey only a few weeks to break it down. He trusted Rhodey with his life, and Rhodey had proven time and time again he was worthy of this esteem. Tony was sad to not have been able to say a proper goodbye to him. 

Tony pulled the sports car into a spot in the parking garage and removed the key from the ignition. He opened the door and stretched his back, hearing his vertebrae crack back into place. He checked his watch, which read 7:00. He was running on time (for once). The billionaire had a knack for running fashionably late to things like board meetings and charity events, but he needed to be on time for his meeting with Strange. Tony couldn't woo the doctor despite his best efforts to do so. The man was just as arrogant and stubborn as Tony was. _Quite an accomplishment._  

Tony began his walk into SHIELD. A guard wearing black body armor and a kevlar suit stopped him at the door. "I'm gonna need some identification, sir." Tony just looked at him with a puzzled expression.  _Since when did SHIELD require I.D. to get in? There are retinal and fingerprint scanners inside the lobby in order to continue to the higher levels. Why would they need I.D.?_ Something was wrong here. SHIELD had never had an armed guard outside the doors. Sure, they had some inside, but never on the perimeter of the building. Tony looked to his left and to his right, and he could see more guards wearing the same get up as the one in front of him, stationed about 6 feet apart. It was then Tony became nervous, but he tried to play it off with a joke.

"Identification? I'm Tony Stark! I feel like you'd be able to tell that before I even stepped out of my car." Tony's license plate read "STARK3" and the car had a Stark Industries logo sticker on the bumper (a small one at that, but Pepper had insisted on him putting it on the car, tacky as it was). However, the guard shook his head and held his hand out to Tony. 

"I.D., sir." Tony's frown deepened, but he opened his wallet and showed the guard his I.D. The guard waggled his hand at Tony, who then dropped the card into his hand. "Welcome to SHIELD, Mister Stark," said the guard. The guard returned Tony's I.D. back to him, and Tony, still deeply confused, walked into the building. He approached the scanners, looking into one of them. The scanner beeped with approval. Tony then laid his finger on the other scanner, which reviewed it for a few seconds before beeping, too. He started up the stairs.  _What the hell was that all about? What does SHIELD think some goons in kevlar are going to do in an event of an emergency?_ _Shoot their guns at the Chitauri? Tell some aliens to fuck off? Punch some HYDRA agents? Ask an assassin for I.D.?_ Tony shook his head in disbelief. SHIELD had a reputation for being a bunch of dumbasses, especially Thaddeus Ross. Good thing that man was locked up in the Raft, where he belonged. Tony should've never let Ross put the Avengers in that underwater hellhole. He knew that was part of why they despised him but hey, what could he really have done in that situation? Cap managed to break them out of a maximum security prison without so much as breaking a sweat. And, the motherfucker even had time to make a stop at FedEx. 

Strange's office door was slightly ajar when Tony reached the floor it was on. He knocked carefully on the doorframe, requesting entrance into the office. "Come in!" Strange said, voice muffled. Tony walked in to find Strange suspended in the air above a pile of pillows strewn haphazardly across the floor. Strange's brows were furrowed in concentration, and the room was devoid of light except for the light coming from the magic that was blinking in and out of existence, surrounding Strange, who was directing the magic in swirls, then into a burst of orange light. The magic seemed to twinkle down from the ceiling like ashes from a fire. Tony barely stopped himself from reaching out and grasping one in his fist, like one might catch a firefly. His eyes widened while he took in the scene of the falling light around him. 

Once all of the light hit the floorboards and the lights came back on, Tony lifted his eyes to meet Strange's, who was looking at him with a corner of his mouth turned up in amusement from watching Tony marvel at his magic. "Are you finished, Stark?" Tony just rolled his eyes and returned the half smile to Strange. "Come, sit down," Strange said, and gestured to the plush-looking couch across the coffee table from the leather armchair Strange had taken up residence in. 

"So, Stark, there are a few things that you should know about the procedure before we begin. Firstly, you'll be-how do I put this the right way- _stored?_ In a cryostasis tank in the secure SHIELD medbay, with admission to your chambers only granted to a set list of people that you permit entrance to beforehand, myself included, for purposes like checking up on you, making sure the magic is going to plan,  _casting_ the spell, etcetera. I'll have you write the list before you get into the chamber. Secondly, the procedure is supposed to take around three months, depending on the bond you form with the Captain in the alternate dimension. Thirdly, this dimension-it's called the Oractoclitic dimension-is very similar to real life and may cause some part of you to form a relationship with the dimension itself, and that part of you might not want to leave. I will extract you regardless of your desire to stay there, as it is not safe for non-magic wielding individuals to stay there for longer than 105 days, or around 3.5 months. You will likely experience some discomfort at the extraction, but that is to be expected. You won't have any way to communicate with me to let me know when you have finished your business there, but I will be keeping an omniscient eye on your activities, not looking too intimately into the proceedings, just a general understanding of your interactions with the Captain. I do believe that is all." Tony was anxious to get on with it, and his fidgeting made it known to the doctor. "I can see you are ready to begin. Let's go, then." Strange gathered what appeared to be some sort of  _spellbook,_ which Tony couldn't help a small chuckle at. Strange flashed him a dark glare and opened the door. Tony tried to keep up with the sorcerer and his billowing cape as they made their way to the medical center. Tony was nervous about going under, but he knew it was the only way to fix these dreams he'd been having. He was ready to start. 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Tumblr is @violet-blur ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony enters the new dimension!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I know I promised a lengthy third chapter but frankly, I forgot about it? So I'm gonna try and make this chapter around 6k words. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> *Possible trigger warning: short mention of attempted suicide. I'll put stars like this *** at the beginning and end of the section*

The medical facility smelled like bleach and vomit.  _How appetizing!_ Tony crinkled his nose in disgust as it was invaded by the smell of the facility. There were machines and medical staff hurrying in and out of the rooms of the sick SHIELD personnel. Tony knew the medical center was usually reserved for injuries sustained by SHIELD agents during missions and that it was a bit weird for him to sojourn in the center without clear or present injury, but he, Strange, and Fury had agreed that the medical center was the best place for Tony to undergo his procedure because of the tight security and the trained medical staff. He also couldn't risk going to a public hospital for fear of being hounded by fans. Even though Tony was protected by HIPAA, he knew he couldn't rely on the doctors and nurses to keep their oaths and not try to take a picture with him while he was under or some other dumb shit. People had tried worse, and he didn't want to take any chances especially when he was so vulnerable in cryostasis. 

Tony had initially thought that the best place for him to go under would be his own compound, but he wasn't entirely sure that anyone wouldn't try to pull anything on him, like cutting off his life support or nutrients. He thought that the team wouldn't dare something so malicious, but seeing the look Steve had in his eyes as he brought down his shield into Tony's sternum was making him a bit skeptical of the "good" intentions of the team. He didn't think Steve would pull something like this on him, but with the right amount of convincing from the right person, like Sergeant Barnes, could convince him to override his deep-set morals. Tony would be more comfortable back at home, but he was safest here. 

A cute blond nurse wearing charcoal grey scrubs approached him. "Excuse me," he said, "but the operating room is ready for you, Mr. Stark. If you'd follow me, please." Tony did so gratefully. Even though the scrubs were a bit boxy, Tony could still see the outline of a pert ass underneath. He caught himself looking and diverted his eyes to the floor. He did not feel like catching a sexual harassment case today because he couldn't keep his eyes off someone who looked so much like his ex-boyfriend.  _Was he really an ex? We never really went over it..._ What was he thinking? Of  _course_ , he and Steve were no longer dating. They hadn't spoken in over a year, save the few short interactions they had had in the compound on the grounds of being polite.  _And,_ Tony reminded himself,  _the time you tucked tail and ran away from him like a startled animal_.  _God_ that was embarrassing. Tony's cheeks flushed pink in secondhand embarrassment for himself those few days ago. He couldn't believe he had done something so childish. And he had stuttered! The last time that he had stuttered was when Obadiah was holding him up against that wall by his neck in the SI ballroom and asking him about the company. He remembered that terrible day distinctly. That was the day he had realized someone he had put his trust in for years was betraying him for a better offer. Tony hadn't realized that now made  _two_ occasions someone he loved and trusted had betrayed him. Cool! 

He was thrust back into reality when the nurse finally stopped and opened a door to the room. The nurse walked in and flipped the lights on via a lightswitch on the wall to the right of the door. The room was illuminated and Tony took a look around. The walls were the same eggshell white as the rest of the medical center, prolonging the sterile feeling throughout. The room was devoid of windows, and the only light was coming from the overhead fluorescent lights and the soft orange light from inside the cryostasis chamber. There was a small table in the back left corner of the room for what Tony assumed was to put his clothes and other personal articles. The nurse confirmed his assumptions. "You're gonna need to put your clothes on the table, including undergarments and jewelry," the nurse spared a quick glance to the silver ring on Tony's left middle finger and left the room. Tony had almost forgotten he was wearing the ring. It had been a gift from Steve, who had gotten himself a matching one too. Steve had called it a promise ring. 

_"A promise ring? What am I Steve, some dame you're trying to woo?" Tony asked lightheartedly. Steve just shook his head and smiled._

_"It's taking the place of an engagement ring for now until I can find one beautiful enough to suit you," Steve said and lifted Tony's hand to his mouth to bestow a kiss upon it._

_Tony's breath caught. "Does that mean you want to get married?" Tony asked softly. All jokes he had planned in his mind had been forgotten._

_"Someday soon, baby. Someday soon."_

* * *

 

When Tony was finished stripping down, a light tap sounded at the door. "Come in," Tony invited. The door pushed open and Strange was standing on the threshold. "Fancy seeing you here, Strange. I was beginning to wonder where you had run off to." 

"Well, now I'm wishing I could run to the bathroom and wash my eyes out after seeing you standing here with no goddamn clothes on." Tony chuckled.

"Steve's replacement told me to. Besides, don't you just  _love_ the view?" 

Strange huffed. "I'm afraid not. Now, let's get you into this tank and get all your tubes hooked up. I should finish in a few minutes time."

"Wow, that quickly? I would think a magician like you would last a bit longer, magic and all," Tony teased. 

"Not a magician," Strange mumbled darkly. He opened a closet that Tony hadn't noticed during his initial survey of the room. Tony watched as he pulled out a bunch of tubes and needles. Tony paid no attention to the number of needles that were now going into his veins, having no idea what in the everloving fuck any of them were used for. He was an engineer, not a medical doctor after all. All the shit with human bodies had always confused him, which is why Tony preferred machines over people. Whenever a machine had a problem, the answer was always black and white on how to fix it, like tightening a screw or fiddling with the programming. With humans, the problem was always something more complicated, with feelings and all the other horse shit. This reason was partly why he would much rather spend a day with Dum-E and U instead of a group of people, even as annoying as they were. He felt that he could never say anything wrong to a robot like he could with humans. No eggshells to walk on when talking to them. Tony much preferred their company over that of humans.

"Alright, Stark," Strange said. "I need you to climb into the tank and cross your right arm over your left across your chest." Tony nodded and followed the directions. He struggled a bit getting into the tank, which was about one and a half feet off the floor. His height did him  _absolutely_ no favors, ever. It would be nice to be taller, he thought. Maybe people would take him more seriously as a superhero. The first time he met Thor, the god had asked him why the "Man of Iron" was just a child. Thor had been very surprised when Tony removed the suit's faceplate, apologizing profusely, not without hysterical laughter from the rest of his teammates. 

Tony finally managed to swing himself up into the cryostasis tank, and he crossed his arms, trying to keep the tubes coming out of both his arms from getting tangled. "By the way, Strange, if you don't mind my asking, what the hell do any of these tubes do? I have at least, like, 12 coming out of my body." Tony looked at the new holes in his arms, not at all excited for the scarring the giant needles would entail. His body already looked wrecked enough, thankyouverymuch. 

"There are a few for nutrition factors, blood regulation, oxygen, etcetera," Strange explained. "I assure you, there are no tubes that aren't completely necessary for the process. I don't exactly  _enjoy_ bloodwork, but it needs to be done to keep you safe." Tony nodded in understanding. "It will only be a few minutes until you're ready to go under." Tony wished he was wearing pants to wipe his suddenly uncomfortably clammy hands on, but, alas, he did not. It was all he could do to stand there in the tank with his dick out and arms crossed for Strange and all the quietly tittering SHIELD nurses to see. 

***

"I'm sending you back to the end of the Chitauri invasion of New York after you returned to Earth's atmosphere after that heroic stunt you pulled."  _Heroic?_ Tony hardly thought that was heroic. He had honestly thought it was pretty selfish, guiding that  _thing_ back into space. He was preparing himself to die, and he was really fucking lucky that he made it back before the portal. He had honestly been ready to die, calling Pepper like that. He hadn't been close to Steve back then. Steve had been the one to finally turn his depression around for the better, making him feel as if he were actually  _worth_ something, that he had had the right intentions for everything he had done, that Steve (and the rest of the Avengers) were grateful for everything he had done, that he was actually making a better place, and Tony had  _believed him._ Now, after Siberia, Tony wasn't so confident anymore. Hopefully, this venture into the Oractoclitic Dimension would actually make him feel better. 

***

Strange cleared his throat to catch Tony's attention again. "Stark, we're ready to put you under. Have a good time and," Strange lowered his voice, "stay safe. I don't want you doing anything you could regret." He winked at Tony, and that was the last thing Tony saw before he saw nothing but an ocean of black.

* * *

 

 Tony opened his eyes. It was bright,  _so bright,_ around him. He struggled to focus his eyes on the blurry figure above him that was shouting something that sounded like his name, except it sounded like the figure was shouting from underwater. Tony reached up to try and touch the figure. The figure grabbed his hand and clenched it so tightly Tony felt like his fingers were going to break.

"Ow," Tony said. The figure was coming more into focus now, and Tony could see that it was Steve. "Steve," Tony mumbled groggily. 

"Tony! Oh, Tony, thank goodness you're awake. I was starting to think I had lost you there. I'm so glad you're awake. Are you hurt?" Tony could see that Steve was smiling, and it was like a ray of sunshine was coming from that million-watt smile Steve held on his face. It was infectious, and Tony couldn't help but smile. 

"No, not hurt. Nothing but my hand, actually," Tony said, casting a glance down at his hand that was enveloped in Steve's, who released it with a chuckle and an apology, still with that heart-melting smile on his face. Steve picked Tony up and held him close with his muscular arms wrapped around Tony's back, which he noticed was devoid of the suit. Tony surmised Steve must've gotten him out of it. Tony could feel the small circles Steve was making on his spine through the thin shirt he wore underneath the suit that day, having no chance to change into his undersuit before they were needed in the Chitauri invasion. Tony caught himself leaning into Steve's touch, but he continued anyway. He burrowed his head into Steve's chest, hearing his heartbeat. Steve pressed a kiss on top of Tony's head. Tony felt a rush of warmth from where Steve kissed him down to his toes.

"I missed you, Tony, baby," Steve breathed into his hair. Tony didn't care that things in this dimension were different than those in his dimension, but it was so, _so_ good to be back here with Steve. Tony couldn't even fathom words to describe how happy he was to be back in Steve's arms. He knew he would've given anything to be back like this with Steve back home, but he would take all he could get. 

"I missed you too, Steve." Tony could feel Steve smiling in his hair. Steve pulled back to face Tony, and Tony whimpered at the loss of contact, which caused Steve to bring his hand up and into Tony's hair. "I don't want you to do anything like that ever again, Tony. I thought I lost you. I-" Steve's voice broke and he drew in a shaky breath before continuing. "I don't think I could've survived without you." A single tear ran down Steve's cheek as his composure slipped. Tony just dove back into Steve's strong, broad chest. 

"I love you Steve, and I'm sorry." Tony could feel tears slipping from his eyes as well, dampening the navy blue shirt Steve wore. Tony breathed in the scent of Steve, a scent that he missed so much, a scent that Tony would breathe in from Steve's pillow at night to fall asleep when Steve was in Wakanda and Tony's heart was still broken. He thought it had healed, but, being back in Steve's arms, he realized it wasn't. He had been craving Steve for more months than he could count, and it was starting to get painful. Tony had- _did_ love Steve with all his heart, and nothing had changed after Siberia, even after his betrayal. For the feelings he had for Steve to subside, he'd have to be dead. He loved Steve with all of his heart and soul. Steve was the person who convinced him that he was something more, and that life was worth living. He was eternally grateful to Steve for that, and he would never forget it. Tony had been so excited to get engaged to Steve and to spend the rest of his life with her. A small part of Tony felt that, even now, if Steve came up to Tony and asked for his hand in marriage, Tony would say yes, even without an apology. He was willing to put all of this behind him for even a look in his direction from Steve. His heart yearned for Steve, and he wasn't about to tell it no. 

Tony and Steve continued their embrace for what seemed like an eternity, but Tony was content with it. He'd let himself be held by Steve forever if the universe would allow him to. They were broken apart by Bruce's voice. "Are you two going to keep hugging in the street or get a room somewhere else? I'm sure no one else appreciates all the PDA, especially not me." Tony practically jumped up out of Steve's arms.

"Brucie! Oh wow, you have  _no_ idea how much I missed you!" Tony exclaimed and ran into Bruce's unsuspecting arms, drawing him into a slightly less intimate, but still clingy, bear hug. 

"Tony, man, you better get your hands off me or else your husband over there is gonna tear me to shreds." Tony jumped back, not at the comment, but at the fact that Steve was his  _husband_ _!_ Tony's suspicions were confirmed when he looked down at his left hand and saw a sparkling platinum band looking back up from his rough, calloused hand. The band looked slightly out of place on Tony's less-than-dainty hands, but Tony was so happy to see it there that he didn't even notice. The band looked remarkably similar to the promise ring that Steve had given him, except the band had small bright red rubies interspersed within it. A quick glance at Steve's left hand showed him that Steve's band was practically the same, save the stones were emeralds instead of rubies.  _Birthstones_. Tony chuckled to himself. His Steve had always been a sucker for astrology, and Tony could see that this one was no different. The rubies also reminded him of the Iron Man suit. Steve could be so thoughtful when he wanted to, like with the rings. Tony was absolutely certain the rings were all Steve's choice, seeing as Tony did not have anything close to an eye for beauty. It was Pepper who convinced him to use the red and gold colors for his suit, instead of the "atrocious" purple and green Tony had initially chosen. Tony liked how the bands were similar but different in their own, unique way. Tony's love for Steve grew even more after seeing the rings if that was even possible. 

([Tony's wedding band](https://www.rockngold.com/portfolio/14kt-white-yellow-gold-ruby-mens-wedding-band-by-rgc-2/) & [Steve's wedding band](https://www.myloveweddingring.com/3-stone-emerald-mens-wedding-band-platinum-r-8a-5mm-dia-emer-plat.html))

"Sorry to cancel the party, boys," came a voice to the right of Tony, "but we need to wrap this party up. This woman kinda needs her house back, if you know what I mean," Natasha said and nodded to the slightly mortified looking woman on the couch a few feet away from their reunion. Tony laughed. He hadn't even realized he was in someone's house, he was too busy looking into Steve's eyes to even notice his surroundings. 

Steve responded to Nat's jab before Tony had a chance to. "Alright, alright, Nat. We're leaving." Steve flashed a winning smile at the elderly woman, who instantly looked better after she received a prize smile from Captain America. "We thank you for your service, ma'am. Have a wonderful day!" The woman looked as if she were going to swoon. Steve flashed her one last grin before he left through the front door, Tony, Bruce, and Natasha in his wake. Outside the house, a slim black car was waiting outside the house. Tony almost shrieked in joy as the chauffeur opened the door. 

"Happy! It's so good to see you!" Tony just barely stopped short of giving the man a bear hug, remembering that his driver-slash-bodyguard didn't like physical contact. He instead opted for some sort of awkward handshake that left both him and Happy smiling at each other in remembrance of old times. "How are you, Happy?" The man shifted uncomfortably but answered the question. 

"To be completely honest, boss," Tony rolled his eyes. He'd told Happy to refer to him as his familiar name, but the oh-so- _professional_ man had never deigned to enlighten him. Happy continued despite Tony's mental interruption. "To be honest, not so well. Pepper and I have been on a break for a few weeks now," Tony's mind interrupted again.  _Pepper? I'll have to ask her about that later!_ Happy kept talking, "and I haven't really been handling it well. She and I are going out for coffee tomorrow, so I hope to talk with her then. But, enough about me. How are  _you?"_ The man asked. 

Tony chuckled. "Oh you know, the usual. Almost got sucked into a portal into space and died, but, yanno, no big deal. I think I'm kinda used to it now. I do, however, hope Thor can reign Loki in. I know he has good intentions, but I just hope he stops conspiring with Thanos! God, that big purple guy really fucked us over. It really sucked for everyone when Bucky died, and it was especially hard on Steve, not that I'd know, of course. Nat and I stayed in cahoots while the rest of Team Cap sojourned in T'Challa's castle. Oh, and, the Parker kid died too, but he's back now, so that's good news. All things considered, I'm not  _too_ bad. I have been better though, but what more can you ask for?" Tony looked up to gauge the reaction of the people surrounding him, who all looked outright confused. 

Nat was the first to speak up. "What? Who's Bucky? The Parker kid? T'Challa?  _Thanos?_ Tony, are you sure your heroics didn't fuck up your brain? I'm pretty sure  _none_ of us know what the hell you're talking about." A look to his left proved Natasha wrong. Steve's pale expression said otherwise. Tony knew Steve wouldn't say anything in the presence of his other teammates, but, by looking at his face, Tony could tell he and Steve would  _definitely_ be talking later. 

Tony laughed off Nat's reply. "I'm just messing with you guys. To be honest, I'm feeling a little nauseous. I think I could use a nap." Still slightly wide-eyed, Happy opened the door for Tony and the other present members of the team. Tony climbed to the farthest side of the car from the door and helped himself to a bottle of water Happy made sure to always keep stocked in the small fridge on the side of the car. Happy used to keep the fridge full of soda and alcohol, but, at Pepper's insistence, he replaced the contents of the fridge with water and other "healthier options" like Pepper's godforsaken kombucha and other nasty hipster drinks. Steve slid in the car after him, followed by Bruce, and then Natasha. Tony hadn't seen Bruce in a while after the green giant had decided not to return to the compound after the whole shebang with Thanos. Even with the insistence from all of the estranged Avengers and even Tony himself that Thunderbolt Ross was behind bars, Bruce still refused to return to the compound. He had soothed Tony's worries with a promise to visit every once in a while for Christmas and the like, but as soon as Bruce left, he wasn't to be seen again. He probably thought that he was flying under the radar, but the only reason he hadn't been found is that Tony had instructed the rest of the Avengers not to look for him, and give the man some peace. Tony (and Bruce, he was sure) knew that if Tony had actually decided to look for Bruce, that FRIDAY would find him in a matter of seconds. Steve used to encourage him to sell some of his tracking technology to the U.S. government, but Tony had denied under the guise of "lack of privacy". The truth was, he knew the government would figure out how to put a tracker on  _him_ and the Avengers, and try and regulate them like they had tried (and failed) to do with the accords.

When they reached the (surprisingly still intact) Avengers tower, the other team members bid him goodbye and went their separate ways to do god knows what. Steve held the car door open for Tony, and they walked back into the tower after thanking Happy. Tony was not looking forward to having to spill the truth to this Steve, but he knew it was inevitable. Once Steve set his mind to something, it was impossible to get him off of it. His stubbornness was a trait Tony admired, but he had something less than admiration for the man in this scenario. 

"So, Tony, about what you said in the car..." Tony sighed inwardly. They'd barely been out of the car for five minutes, and Steve was choosing to bring up the question  _now?_ Ugh. Tony decided to just suck it up and get the truth out into the open. 

"Steve, honey, you're gonna want to sit your perfect ass down for this one. I have something not-so-great to share with you."

"What? Did you cheat on me with an alien during the five minutes you were in space? Did it have  _tentacles?_ _"_

"Haha, Rogers. Very funny. No, this talk has nothing to do with infidelity."

"Thank god,  _Rogers._ I don't know how good alien cock is, but I'm sure it doesn't beat the good old all-American dick. What do you think?" Tony couldn't help but blush bright red. Tony didn't know about aliens, but Steve's cock was the biggest he'd ever seen, 14 inches of- Wait. Did Steve just call him  _Rogers?_

"I-I'm sorry,  _what_ did you call me?" Tony asked an equally surprised Steve.

"Um, your last name? That's it right? I think I was there when you changed it," Steve said with a mischevious grin. 

Tony's mouth fell open in shock. He never would've imagined he changed his last name to  _Steve's_ , he had always assumed it would've been the other way around, or at least a hyphenation. He was astonished at this Tony's choice.

"What's the company called now? Did I... did I change it to RI?" Steve laughed at his husband's ridiculous inquiry.

"No, baby, it's still Stark Industries. You can have someone other than a Stark as the CFO. I mean, you have Pepper as your CEO, I think everyone was fine with that decision. Why are you asking anyway?" Steve's expression was equal parts befuddled and amused. 

"Well, that's the thing, Steve. I'm from a different dimension." Steve laughed a startled laugh.

"Nat was right, Tony. Your venture into space really  _did_ mess with your brain." Tony just shook his head. 

No, Steve, I'm not kidding. I'm from the year 2018, and from a different dimension. You and I were broken up over a pretty major, people died, fight we had, one where you betrayed me and almost killed me for- for Bucky. One of HYDRA's previous members made me see an illusion of all of the team members-" Tony could feel tears starting to form but he continued, "all of the team members dead, including you. I remember you cupped my face and said-you said 'you could've saved us'. That vision has been haunting me for about six years now, Steve, and I thought it was about time to get rid of it. My friend, neuroscientist, and, stay with me here, Sorcerer Supreme, Dr. Stephen Strange decided to send me here to trick my uh...  _amygdala_?into believing everything was fine so I wouldn't have those nightmares anymore. I'm here for about three months until my subconscious is utterly and completely convinced, and I don't have those dreams anymore." When Tony looked up, Steve was looking at him with nothing short of despair in his clear blue eyes. 

"Oh, Tony, baby, please tell me you're lying. I would never betray you. Bucky's my best friend, but you- you are the man I love more than anyone else in the world." Tony shook his head no and his tears began pouring out of his eyes when Steve looked at him with the most forlorn look he had ever seen. "Tony, baby, come here." Tony obeyed and walked over to the couch Steve was sitting on. Tony straddled his lap and let himself be held by the super soldier for the second time that day, his tears once again moistening Steve's shirt. Steve's arms held him close to his heart, and Tony buried his head into the fine blond hairs on Steve's neck. Steve reached up to card his fingers through Tony's longer-than-usual soft brunet curls, especially the small hairs that curled at the nape of his neck, holding on to his husband tightly. Tony's tears finally ceased, but Steve still didn't release him. Instead, he put his mouth to Tony's ear and whispered to him.

"I don't care if you aren't exactly the same as the Tony from this dimension, but you're still _a_ Tony, and I love you the same. After all, in my wedding vows, I pledged to love  _all of you_ forever and always. Although at the time, I was imagining something like flaws or scars on your skin, I will love interdimensional you just the same." Tony laughed lightly into Steve's shoulder. He knew as long as he had Steve, all would be well. 

* * *

 

 Tony woke up to find Steve's arms curled protectively around his waist, Steve's nose pressed into his hair. He could feel Steve's deep, rhythmic breath calm his entire body. He had missed waking up next to Steve. This Oracto-whatever dimension- Tony could get used to it. There was no greater pleasure in all the dimensions than waking up to a 14-inch erect dick pressed against your thinly clothed ass. Tony decided to wake his _husband_ with a little shimmy against his dick, earning a moan from Steve.

Steve's morning voice filled Tony's ears like the best song he had ever heard. "Baby, it's too damn early for this. Let me  _sleep_." Tony just giggled.

"It was you who woke me up like this, Mr. Morning Wood. I think I would like to get a taste of  _this_ Steve." Steve's eyes popped open immediately. 

"Well, why don't you go for it, Mr. Rogers?" 

"I just might, Mr. Rogers." Tony licked his lips and grinned when Steve's pupils blew wide. Tony decided to tease him by very slowly taking off Steve's sleep trousers with his teeth while Steve stood up, a show that had Steve groaning and urging Tony to go hurry the fuck up, but also wishing Tony to keep it up so he could stare into Tony's chocolate eyes longer. Eventually, the horny side of Steve won out. Steve thrust his hips up, and Tony  _finally_ took Steve's pants all the way off. Tony was much quicker in his removal of Steve's tight, silky black briefs. Tony licked his lips again in anticipation of having that beautiful cock in his mouth. The sides of his vision began to blur as he took in the sight of Steve's taut abdomen and sharp hip bones, and the trail of blond hairs leading down to his cock. Tony couldn't wait one minute more and dropped his mouth down to meet Steve. He took Steve as far as he could into his mouth, throat clenching when he couldn't take any more.

"Oh, baby- that's so good. Keep going," he growled almost violently. Tony obeyed and moved his head up, swirling his tongue around the droplets of pre-come on the red head of Steve's cock, earning another rumbling moan. Tony once again took Steve into his mouth, using his hands to work the bit of cock he couldn't get into his mouth, causing Steve to thrust up into his mouth with another moan. Tony bobbed his head up and down, sucking on the tip every time he reached the tip. Tony's saliva was dripping around his mouth when he pulled up to catch his breath. 

"I want you to use my mouth, Steve. I want you to come down my throat," Tony growled in his voice, wrecked by Steve's massive dick.

"You bet I will, baby," Steve growled back. He grabbed Tony's hair and forced him on to his dick. Tony made his throat lax as Steve thrust in and out of his mouth. Tony's vision was beginning to black out around the edges, but Steve kept going. Steve kept thrusting into Tony's mouth, punctuating his thrusts with moans.

"Oh, baby, you feel so good, tight and hot around my cock." Tony gurgled through his mouthful at Steve, making his throat constrict even more around Steve's cock. Steve moaned again and pulled out to let Tony catch his breath. Tony gulped in the air once, twice, and then Steve's cock was back ramming down Tony's throat. Steve pushed his hips in and out of Tony's mouth. "That's it, baby. On your knees, my cock in your mouth." Tony moaned around Steve's cock. Steve used his hand that was firmly grasped in Tony's hair to move Tony's head back and forth on his dick as Tony choked and gurgled on his dick.

"That's it, baby, choke on my dick." Tony closed his eyes and let himself be guided roughly by Steve. He opened up his throat even further and was rewarded when Steve moaned again. "Oh, baby, I'm gonna cum. O-oh," Steve didn't finish his sentence as he shot his warm and salty load down Tony's throat. He released Tony's hair and shivered as Tony began to suck his overstimulated cock to ensure that he got every drop of cum out of his dick. Tony looked up at Steve through his eyelashes, cock on his tongue. The sight made Steve's cock spurt one last drop of cum into Tony's hungry mouth.

"By far, the best way to wake up." Tony greeted Steve with a kiss. Steve moaned as he could taste his cum on Tony's tongue. Tony pulled back and taunted Steve.

"You'll have to pay me back later. For right now, I'm famished," Tony said, voice husky after being used by Steve.

"You got it, baby," Steve said with a wink. Tony's knees went weak underneath him, but he managed to save himself from falling. Damn if he didn't love that man.

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIPAA is the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996. It provides privacy of data and all other privacies of those receiving medical attention. Essentially, if Tony were to visit a general hospital, the doctors and nurses couldn't go around gossiping and saying stuff like, "You won't guess who was at the hospital today. Tony freaking Stark! He was there for some sort of weird magic thingy and I snapped a picture with him while he was asleep." HIPAA protects the integrities of people like Tony from having their private medical information shared. Of course, being one of the most influential famous people of all time, he couldn't be sure that the medical personnel would actually keep to themselves. That's why he chose to stay at SHIELD, and not another medical facility. 
> 
> P.S.: Listen to the Rock Replay playlist on Apple Music if you want some ear porn ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony gets kidnapped! 
> 
> *TW: brief talk of rape but nothing is attempted*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm starting to update more often because I'm out of school and have work from 11-5 so I have much more time to write. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and make sure to leave comments/kudos! 
> 
> \--KMCL09

Tony thought he could get used to living like this. He spent his days waking up no later than 10 in the morning, indulging in a succulent breakfast his (practically chef) husband made for him and his teammates. He would spend the afternoons curled up in the tower library, reading up on whichever subject suited his fancy that particular day, usually finishing a book (or three) by the time wafts of delicious scented dinner reached underneath the crack in the door to warm Tony's nose. The tower's resident chef would make a dinner suited for a king, as Thor liked to proclaim. The man said the only thing keeping him on Earth instead of returning to Asgard, besides the team, was the decadent meals promised to the team members every night. Then, after dinner, Tony would curl up on the couch next to Steve as the team had a movie night (which had practically become a nightly tradition, but, hey, Tony was in no position to complain). There was nothing more he loved in the world, coffee included, than having Steve's muscular arms wrapped tight around his trim waist while they were cuddled up on the couch. Tony was getting used to the lazy routine he had made in the presence of his husband and companions, although he sometimes did interrupt it to spar with Nat or Clint in the gym or go on a short inventing binge that Steve typically interrupted with promise of a few kisses before Tony's stay in the lab reached the parameters of unhealthy. He loved living here with everyone. Strange had made the right choice in offering to send him here, and Tony's mental health was recovering impeccably, Tony feeling almost as good as he had before what he had now dubbed "The Betrayal". Capital B. 

Tony's book of choice for the afternoon was  _Of Human Bondage_ , by W. Somerset Maugham. He remembered in some quick small talk he had had with Loki that the trickster god had recommended it to him and, after seeing that it was already in his Pepper-built library, he chose to read it. So far, it was good. Tony had to begrudgingly admit that his new friend had a good taste in literature. Maybe Tony could make a better friend of him back home since Loki and Thor were the only ones who wanted to talk to him. It seemed even  _Honeybear_ didn't enjoy his presence, basing off the look Rhodey had given him the morning he left for the SHIELD headquarters. No matter. Tony felt much better here, and he needed to take his mind off all things bad from back home. Seeing the crease in his brow, Steve walked over to where Tony was sprawled out on a cream-colored chaise lounge, facing the windows. Steve took a moment to appreciate the way the afternoon rays illuminated Tony's olive skin and made his hair look like it was made out of all things good in the world. Even if this Tony wasn't  _exactly_ his Tony, Steve still loved him the same, if not more. 

Steve approached timidly, choosing to make himself known by softly stroking the shell of Tony's ear, eliciting a soft moan from him. He looked up at Steve with wide brown eyes that swirled with gold flecks, only visible in the afternoon light.

"Hi, baby," Steve said. Tony smiled up at him through his dark eyelashes. The sun cast shadows of Tony's long and dark lashes onto his rosy cheekbones. "What're you reading?" Tony held up the cover of his book for Steve to see. 

" _Of Human Bondage._ Loki recommended it to me last time I saw him, while we were out trying a new coffee place Thor had praised. Man, am I glad I went there. Their house roast is to  _die_ for," Tony said, eyelids fluttering shut as he remembered the taste of the heavenly coffee. 

"Huh. Maybe it exists here and we can check it out," Steve said and Tony's eyelids opened wide at the promise. He was eager to get his paws on another cup of the delicious coffee. 

All of the sudden, Tony was bending over, his head in his hands, clutching at his hair tightly, knuckles turning white. 

"Tony, honey, are ya alright? Talk to me doll, what gotcha feeling so bad all of tha sudden?" Steve's Brooklyn accent had a hobby of slipping out when he was feeling nervous. Tony groaned and clutched his head tighter.

"Steve... I don't feel too great... I- I think I might be having a-" Tony's sentence was cut off when he fell to the floor. Steve yelped and drew his husband into his arms. What was happening? 

* * *

 Eric heard a sudden pounding on the door. 

"Would you two idiots hurry it up in there? We don't have all day, someone at SHIELD is gonna notice the cameras and security systems are down within the next," he paused to check his watch, "8 minutes or so, and we need to have this motherfucker all packed up by then!" Eric just rolled his eyes. Commander Rumlow was always impatient. It would take some time for Eric and Doctor Armisten to successfully unhook Stark from all the machines without waking him from his comatose state. They would have a much larger problem on their hands if the brunette were to actually become awake. Eric didn't know much about the man in question, but he had heard that the man was some sort of "superhero" and had this magical flying armor that was always around him. Eric didn't see how the man himself could be much of a problem without said armor, but both the doctor and Rumlow seemed a bit on edge, so Eric decided that he should probably be, too. The doctor removed one of the tubes from Stark's vein carefully.

"Christiansen, I'm gonna need you to hold his arm steady as I remove this last needle. Then, on my signal, lift him over your back and carry him out of the room." Eric nodded his agreement. Armisten picked up Stark's limp right arm and carefully extracted a long, thin green needle as Eric held down Stark's arm. The doctor wiped off the blood pooling at the exit point of Stark's arm and nodded to Eric. Eric hefted the (surprisingly light) man over his shoulder and walked out of the room to face the scuffle in the hallway. 

"Finally, Christiansen. Follow me to the truck so we can hook him back up to a cryostasis tank. We don't want this motherfucker waking up on us. That would be, as Rollins loves to say,  _a giant pain in the ass,_ " Rumlow said. To be honest, Eric had no idea what Commander Rollins liked to say. He had never met the man, just Commander Rumlow.

Eric followed the Commander outside a discreet back entrance that was guarded by more HYDRA operatives covered in black kevlar tactical gear. He hefted Stark into the van, and another agent took Stark by the shoulders and connected him to the cryo machine, reinserting the needles Armisten had removed a few minutes prior. Eric wondered if the agent was really qualified to do this, but he held his questions back. The agent looked back at him with her sharp green eyes and Eric shuddered. He was new to the team, new to HYDRA, and he hadn't yet made any acquaintances, save the doctor. He wasn't exactly eager to, and he could see most of the agents weren't, either. He supposed they were just there to get paid, same as he was. Eric had dreams of maybe moving up in the ranks and maybe becoming something like a Commander, but he knew with his lack of Nazi enthusiasm that he probably wouldn't be getting close anytime soon.

An agent with piercing icy blue eyes sealed up the van and tapped the bulletproof doors twice. The van started forward with a groan and started chugging its way back to HYDRA's New York headquarters. Eric leaned back against the wall, letting the quiet purr of the engine relax him. This was only the second or third mission he had been on with the team, and he was still trying to prove his reliability. He had already gone through months upon months of physical and mental training, but he supposed the HYDRA bigwigs still wanted to see if he was really on board. This afternoon, he was supposed to get his cyanide capsule fake tooth installed, and maybe that would actually prove his authenticity. 

To his right, the green-eyed agent and the blue-eyed agent (they had masks on, Eric had no way to identify them save eye color) were talking softly while also watching Stark floating naked in the cryostasis tank. Eric thought that the billionaire might've been able to convince  _someone_ to allow him to cover his integrity, but, alas, the man was still stark naked. Eric had to hold back a laugh. The two agents shot him a glare, and he receded back into silence. It was going to be a long time until the other agents considered him trustworthy.

* * *

 

 "Colonel Rhodes?" Came a polite, familiar female voice from the speakers above him. 

"Yes, FRIDAY?" 

"Sir's position is rapidly moving north throughout the state of New York." Rhodey crinkled his brows.

"Um, okay? Maybe he's going for a drive? Why are you telling me this, FRIDAY?"

"Did Sir not tell you? He is undergoing a cryostasis procedure at the SHIELD medical center for three months. He has been there for a few days already. Have you not noticed his absence?" Rhodey shook his head no. He had honestly thought Tony was holed up in his lab. He, and the rest of the team, rarely saw Tony as it is. They had little to no reason to think anything was wrong. 

"So, FRIDAY, what does his moving north mean? Maybe SHIELD is transferring him to another facility?" Rhodey honestly thought he had no need to be concerned. Tony had a reputation for handling things concerning himself without getting anyone else involved. Rhodey thought he shouldn't be as mad as he was that he didn't get a proper goodbye from Tony. Then again, no one really had. Tony had been very elusive lately, not coming to Rhodey with any problems he might have. Then again, Rhodey hadn't been the best friend he should've been. It was partly his fault their friendship had become strained ever since Steve and his other teammates had returned from under T'Challa's wing. Then, the whole ordeal with Thanos, etc. Rhodey realized he and Tony hadn't actually talked for a few months now, except for small talk and greetings in passing. It didn't really surprise him Tony hadn't thought (or hadn't wanted to) pull Rhodey aside and tell him about his procedure.

"Sir implanted a tracker in the back of his neck, so that I may track him and alert people, like you, when he is in danger. The tracker also monitors his heartbeat, breathing, and some outside happenings, like temperature and humidity. Right now, Sir is back under cryostasis, but he was removed for approximately 5 minutes and exposed to air warmer than the regulated temperature inside the SHIELD compound, 72.4 degrees Fahrenheit. In his blood, the tracker is detecting a change in the amount of sedative, a higher concentration than what he was exposed to these past few days. If SHIELD were transferring him, they would not have removed him from the cryostasis tank or increased the amount of sedative above the legal maximum," FRIDAY said, voice tinged with worry. 

Rhodey shook his head in disbelief. "So, you're saying that someone else removed Tony from his cryostasis tank? Someone else is moving him north?" 

"Essentially, yes. I believe Sir may have been-how do you say- _kidnapped_ ," FRIDAY replied. "The sedative has reached very high levels and is deteriorating the strength and capabilities of the tracker. I can begin to pinpoint his location using the tracker, but I assumed you'd like me to save the limited power in the tracker to regulate the amount of sedative that reaches his brain so that no permanent damage occurs."

"Why would his kidnappers put such high levels of sedative into his bloodstream? Are they  _trying_ to do damage to his brain?" Rhodey asked the AI.

"I would think not, Colonel, but I am unsure of his abductors' intentions," Rhodey nodded. 

"What can we do to save him?" Rhodey questioned.

"I think the best way to ensure Sir's safety would be to inform the Captain." 

* * *

 

 "Christiansen!" Came a shout from the hallway. Eric rose from his position on the floor and stepped out of the training room towards the source of the shout. 

"Ah, Commander Rumlow. What can I do for you?" Eric wiped the sweat from his brow and tried to straighten out his exercise uniform to look more put together for the Commander. 

Leaning against the wall, the Commander answered, "I need you to assist me in doing some work on Stark. Bring that doctor friend of yours." Eric nodded his assent.

"Hail HYDRA!" He saluted and made to go find Armisten.

While walking down the charcoal grey halls, Eric had a bit of time to think about what the Commander wanted him and the doctor to do to Stark. Maybe run some blood tests? Eric had been trained more in medicine than was typical for HYDRA agents at the discretion of the Commander. He had no idea why the Commander wanted him to learn more but maybe it had something to do with the Commander liking him? 

Eric reached the doctor's quarters and rapped his knuckles twice on the black door. The door swung open and Eric was faced with the doctor who looked very disheveled. 

"Can I help you?" Armisten asked. 

"The Commander summoned us to work on Stark. I'm thinking bloodwork, maybe something to do with sedatives?" The doctor nodded.

"I just need to change out of my sleep clothes, and I'll be right there," he said. Eric closed the door to give him some privacy. He looked at the beat-up regulation black tennis shoes he wore, their soles a stark contrast to the polished white floors. Everything in the HYRDA headquarters was either black, white, or grey, and Eric was dying for some contrast. The compound didn't have any windows, so Eric could only pass time looking at the depressing grey walls, devoid of anything personal. There were a few pictures on the walls depicting some high ranking officials decked out in all their black and red glory, serpents emblazoned on their right sleeves, a similar, but nicer, take on the outfits the agents had to wear when they were not on missions or other official duties. 

Armisten stepped out of his quarters wearing a black tunic accompanied with the black pants and sneakers, serpent patch on his shoulder, followed by a cross that declared him doctor. His outfit was the same as the agents', save the doctor patch. "Let's be on our way then, Christiansen." Eric nodded and followed the doctor to the medical center where Stark was being held. 

A short walk later, they reached the double black doors and Armisten pushed one open, holding it open long enough for Christiansen to enter. Eric followed the doctor until they got to Stark's room. Armisten once again held the door for Eric, and they were faced with the Commander and a few other doctors. 

"Greetings, doctor, agent," Rumlow said. They both saluted their Commander. "I already had the doctors look for any enhancements. They found a few below the skin, and it's up to the two of you to rid our  _patient_ here of them." The Commander smiled wickedly. "I don't think you need to worry about giving him any pain medication. He should be  _just fine._ Isn't that right, sweetie?" Rumlow turned his attention to Stark, still suspended in the cryostasis tank. Rumlow's smile grew even bigger, wickedness now dripping from it. He flicked his eyes up and down Stark's naked body, whistling appreciatively. "If you two wanted to have your way with him, I wouldn't tell anyone," Rumlow said. He turned back over to the two other people in the room and winked at them. Eric tried his best to reciprocate his Commander's smile. "I'll check in on the two of you later. I expect everything to be finished within the next three hours or so." At that, Eric and the doctor saluted at their Commander.

"Hail HYDRA!" The three of them said together, and the Commander left the room. Armisten looked absolutely giddy about the Commander's proposition, but Eric felt a little nauseous. Did Rumlow really expect him to take advantage of Stark? Eric shook his head and gathered some tools from the closet.

"We're going to need to take him out of suspension, while still keeping him unconscious. The magic surrounding him is pretty strong, and I don't think anyone can break it, except for the one who cast it. I think we'll be pretty safe regarding him waking up in the middle of the procedure. I'm not sure why the Commander added that part about painkillers, we don't even have any," Eric said to Armisten, who wasn't paying attention to a word he was saying. The man was too busy drooling over Stark. "Armisten!" The man's attention snapped back to Eric. 

"You're not my superior, you know. You can't talk to me like that,  _agent._ " Eric snorted.

"You're not mine either,  _doctor._ " Armisten glared at him. "We need to concentrate getting these enhancements out of Stark before Rumlow punishes us. C'mon." Armisten sighed, resigned. He proceeded to walk over to the tank Stark was being held in. The doctor pressed a few buttons and the tank lowered itself to the ground. At the press of a few more, the tank popped open.

"That's  _Commander_ Rumlow to you, Armisten." The man rolled his eyes and moved to remove Stark from the cryostasis tank.

"I need some help over here, Christiansen," said the scrawny doctor, struggling to lift the entirety of the even scrawnier man's body. Eric walked over to the man and lifted him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Armisten looked kind of wowed at Eric lifting Stark like that. Eric ignored it. The extensive agent training had taken him from a regular sized man, around 180 pounds, to a total almost bodybuilder-like person, weighing in around 250 pounds of pure muscle. He had been tall to begin with, around 6'6", and his now extremely bulky frame easily made him the biggest person in any room. Eric brought Stark's limp body over to the operation table, laying him out arms and legs together, and Eric set a blanket over the man's bottom half to protect him from Armisten's hungry eyes. 

"Can you grab those x-rays over there?" Armisten nodded and returned with the x-rays. They showed Stark had a few chips in his shoulder (literally), accompanied by a sort of metal implant in the middle of his chest. Eric knew via the news that Stark had some sort of science-thing in his chest, and he knew that it had also been a big deal when Stark had chosen to get rid of it. So, what was this? It was shaped like a triangle, a soft blue light emitting from its center. At a closer look, Eric could see what looked like small robots inside. 

"Hey, Armisten, come have a look at this!" The curious doctor walked over to where Eric was investigating the device implanted in Stark's chest. 

"Woah," the doctor breathed softly. "I thought he got rid of the reactor a few years ago?"  _So that's what the thing's called_.

"I think I remember seeing something about that too. What's this thing, then?" Eric poked it inquisitively. Nothing seemed to change inside the reactor, or whatever it was called. The tiny robots were moving same as before, if not a bit faster.

"Huh," the doctor commented. "We'll have to ask the Commander about it. I don't think there's anything we can do about it now without risking damage to some of his internal organs. I think if he dies, the Commander would have our skins." Eric nodded. "For now, let's just worry about getting these chips out of his shoulder. I also spotted something on the x-ray chart towards the back of his neck. I think it's supposed to be some sort of tracker, and it's supposed to be camouflaged behind his vertebrae. If we can get it out without disturbing his spinal cord, I'm sure the Commander will give us some sort of reward. If the Avengers aren't already on our tail, they will be within the next couple days or so. So, we need to focus on getting it out."

"Alright," Eric agreed. "I'm assuming you're gonna tackle the tracker, and I'll work on the chips?" 

"Yeah, that sounds fine," Armisten agreed. Eric set out to work, finding a small scalpel next to the other, larger ones that would probably be saved for the thing in the middle of Stark's chest. 

* * *

 

 About two and a half hours later, the Commander showed up to check on Eric and the doctor. Eric had dug out six of the seven chips in Stark's shoulder, and he was close to finishing extracting the seventh. The doctor had the chip about halfway out.

"How's it coming, boys?" The two stopped their tasks and saluted their Commander.

"It's going well, Commander. I have almost finished extricating this tracker chip from behind the patient's spinal cord, and Agent Christiansen has removed six out of the seven chips on the patient's shoulder. We were unsure how to go about removing the reactor in the middle of the patient's chest without severely harming the patient's internal organs, but I think I have discovered a way that we could disable the reactor, both temporarily and permanently, causing it to stop working without affecting the patient's internal systems," said Armisten.

The Commander seemed to consider this for a moment. "Well, we don't want to  _permanently_ damage Mr. Stark here. I'm sure his robotic technology will be a great asset to the HYDRA team. I'm thinking we can give him a few more days in cryo, then take him out, brainwash him-or whatever Pierce is calling it now-, and train him. He'll definitely make a good part of the team," Rumlow smiled again. 

Eric bristled. "I don't mean to interrupt, Commander, but there's a  _slight_ problem in your plan. See, the patient isn't just under cryostasis, his consciousness is under a magic spell. Even if we were to take him out of cryo, he wouldn't be able to think or act or control his body at all. If we take him off the ventilators, he won't even be able to breathe on his own. I've tested the magic and came to the conclusion that the spell is so powerful that it can't be broken unless it is broken by the caster, or someone more skilled. I don't think either Doctor Armisten or I could break it, much less any other medical professional here."

"Well, luckily for me, I think we do. Have more faith in your superiors, Agent Christiansen. Hail HYDRA!" The two subordinates in the room returned the salute. Who did the Commander know that was a powerful wizard? Eric was starting to think that HYDRA was hiding more than he thought.

* * *

 

  __I'm on[tumblr](violet-blur.tumblr.com)

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HYDRA facility! Yay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Work sucks! Here's a baby chapter. I'm working on a longer one so don't worry. Enjoy! ;)

“Captain Rogers?” Rhodey called meekly from the hallway outside Steve's room. He still wasn't sure if informing Cap of Tony's disappearance was the best route of action for trying to find the man, but FRIDAY had assured him that the only one who could actually  _find_  Tony would be either Bruce or Steve. Since Bruce had run away again, Steve was the only course of action. 

Steve pulled open the door, looking as if he had just awoken from a deep sleep. His hair was mussed up and he wore an old black tee shirt, which looked a few sizes too small for him, almost obscenely tight. Wait a minute... the shirt said Black Sabbath on the front. Was that- was that  _Tony's_ shirt? Rhodey almost choked on air. 

"Hi, Colonel. What can I do ya for?" Rhodey raked his eyes back up to Steve's, who was looking at him questioningly. 

"I don't know if FRIDAY informed you yet, but it seems that Tony has been kidnapped," Rhodey informed him. He almost laughed as all the color drained from Steve's face. 

"N-no, I had not heard." Rhodey could see how Steve was trying-and very nearly failing-at keeping his composure. Maybe Steve didn't hate Tony too much after all. Unfortunately, the man had been kidnapped. There was no time for crushes right now. Rhodey needed to get his friend back.

"FRIDAY says that you can help me in finding him? If it's fine with you, I'd like to keep this as under-wraps as possible. I don't want the rest of the team freaking out and doing something they might regret," he said cautiously. 

"Got it. If you'll give me a moment to change into some more...  _appropriate_  attire, I'll join you in the lab as soon as I can." Rhodey took that as his cue to leave, so he nodded at Steve and made his way towards Tony's lab. Hopefully, Tony hadn't changed the locks and Rhodey could still get in. 

To his disappointment, when he waved his hand in front of the biometric scanner, it didn't open for him. Rhodey was confused.  _This must be a mistake,_ he thought.  _Why won't this door open for me? I don't see any reason why Tony'd change it to not open for me. Maybe he set it so only he can get in?_  Rhodey shook his head. He looked around the scanner and the lab doors, looking for a way to possibly open the doors without using the scanner. If Tony wasn't here, no one could get in the lab without his handprint. 

Rhodey was scrounging around the doorframe, looking for a place he could use to get some leverage to get the double doors open when Steve approached him. 

"Colonel, may I ask why you can't just use the hand scanner?" Rhodey was about to tell Steve that he had  _tried_ to use it and that Tony had removed his prints from the system when the scanner beeped in approval at Steve's hand and the doors opened. Rhodey gaped. Why would Tony remove  _his_ hands and not Steve's? Out of the two of them, it made the most sense that Tony would've blocked Steve from entering the laboratory at his own accord. Rhodey was affronted.

Steve held the doors open, waiting patiently for Rhodey to get out of his position on the floor and follow him into the lab. Rhodey got up, brushed off his pants, and walked behind Steve into the monstrosity that was Tony's lab. Rhodey couldn't help but look around in amazement at what Tony had done with the place in the few months since he'd been in the lab. The suits were lined up along the wall in yellow-tinted glass display cases, assorted by age. The first suit was the one from the cave in Afghanistan, leading up to the most recent one. There was also a suit on a worktable, surrounded by tools and cans of pressurized air. There were notes about atmospheric pressure and how it would affect both Tony and the suit. He had been fine on that Titan ship, but Tony was a firm disbeliever in "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". The man would always modify his tech so it was in mint condition. That was part of the reason he was such a great businessman. Anyone who bought from Stark Industries knew they were getting technology that had been deemed the best by its creator. Tony would never sell tech that he didn't think would be best for the people. Rhodey admired that trait. Tony used to be a merchant of death, but now he had become a merchant of  _life._  It was a big change for both him and the company to handle, but they had handled it well and come out on top. Tony still was the majority shareholder in SI, so all decisions were decided by his honest vote. 

"So, Colonel, where do you think we could find information on the tracker chip in his neck?" Steve asked, interrupting Rhodey's thoughts.

"Honestly, I have no idea. I haven't been in here in a few months, and the layout has changed a bit since then. Maybe we could check on the computers by the west window?" The captain nodded and set to check the monitors by the window. The window overlooked the training field. Rhodey thought Tony chose this position to keep his eyes on Steve and Bucky. Rhodey was starting to think the reason Tony wanted to keep an eye on Steve was not for security reasons, but maybe for a reason Tony himself was not yet ready to face. Tony had kept Steve's information in the scanner's systems, maybe hoping Steve would venture into the lab to try and reconcile with Tony. Tony had assured both Rhodey and Pepper that he now (after months of crying and binge drinking) was fully over Steve. Somehow, Rhodey found that hard to believe.

Rhodey decided to check some of the other monitors on the other side of the lab, giving himself some space from Steve to think. Why did Tony opt to go to SHIELD in the first place? Why was he having a procedure done? Rhodey knew that the only person Tony trusted to work on him was either Dr. Cho or Dr. Strange. Rhodey hadn't seen either of the doctors in a while, but he knew he should ask about Tony to either of them. They might have some idea of what Tony was doing. Rhodey was confident Tony'd enquire about any procedure to either of the doctors before he decided to do anything. 

He decided to call Strange first. Dr. Cho had been busy in South Korea with all of the demonstrations she had been giving for the Cradle, visiting science fairs and the like, trying to sell the technologies to foreign governments. Rhodey took out his phone and called Strange.

Strange picked up in about 2 rings. "Yes, Rhodes. How can I help you?" He sounded exasperated, even over the phone. 

"Sorry to bother you, Stephen, but it's concerning Tony," Rhodey said, hearing Stephen draw in a quick breath over the line. "He had a tracker put in his spine a while ago, and FRIDAY alerted me that it was moving north. Is SHIELD moving him to another facility or is this something to be worried about?" 

"I should get in contact with SHIELD. I'm not feeling any disturbances in my magic, so, whatever they are doing, nothing is interfering with the spells I have cast around Tony.  _Yet._ "

"Alright," Rhodey replied. He was still skeptical about whether or not something was actually wrong, but he was sure FRIDAY wouldn't've interfered unless there was a problem. "Thanks for the help, Stephen. Let me know if you find anything out or feel-how did you put it- a  _disturbance_  in your magic." Rhodey hung up before Stephen could answer. So, the procedure that Tony was undergoing had something to do with magic. Why would Tony need to use magic? As far as Rhodey knew, Tony tended to stay far away from magic unless it was completely necessary. What was going on here? 

Rhodey walked to the other side of the lab and tapped Steve on his shoulder. "Captain, I just called Dr. Strange, who told me that Tony was having some sort of magical thing done to him. He told me he'd call me back if he felt anything wrong, but for now, he thinks Tony is pretty safe. Have you found anything?" 

The captain nodded. "Actually, I have," he said. "The tracker that Tony had behind his spine in his neck was removed and disabled, along with some other chips he had in his right shoulder. I don't think any serious damage was done to Tony's spinal cord or body in general, or else Strange would've felt something in his magic. So, if the tracker was removed, I think that Tony  _is_  being held captive. SHIELD doctors know not to interfere with any technological advancements that a patient may have, and they have little to no reason to remove an enhancement such as a tracker." Steve paused to watch Rhodey's face, which was now bunched up in a scowl. "His last known location was somewhere on a highway leading further up north. We have no way of telling if he's still in the United States or somewhere in Canada, if not across the world already. I'm not sure of the motive of his captors, or what they plan to do with him. All I know is that it's not good." Steve's face was stony, but it was just a façade. On the inside, Steve was panicking. He was scared for Tony. He had no idea where Tony was, and no other teammates would even care enough to help him find Tony, he was sure of it. It wasn't as if he was completely innocent, though. Steve knew that no one besides Rhodes, Bucky, and himself what had actually caused Tony to go off like he did. They all just probably thought Tony was jealous of Steve and Bucky. They had been together back in the forties, but they were both completely different people now. Their friendship was still strong as ever, but they both didn't have any interest in each other.

Rhodey nodded. "Okay, so there's something wrong here. Maybe, we can figure out how to locate Tony, and we can come in swinging, taking out his captors. So, firstly, we need to locate exactly where the last known location was, and go from there. Maybe I can look at that, and you can contact SHIELD, see if there was a breach in security? Don't call the New York facility, in case it is still under siege from the captors. I'll get looking into the location now," he said, dismissing himself and Steve. Steve nodded and went back to the computer station.

Back at the computers Rhodey had commandeered, he tried to find out where the location was. FRIDAY was no help because at the time she was trying to regulate the sedative in Tony's system, instead of paying attention to the location. The last place Tony had been spotted was on Route 11, heading directly to the Rouse's Point border between Canada and the US. So, Tony's captors were definitely headed towards Canada. The question was, how far into Canada is Tony now? Who has him in captivity?  _Why?_  

Rhodey was growing more worried by the minute. If they didn't find Tony soon (and it would be harder now that he was probably outside of the US), Tony might be killed, or worse. He hoped his friend could hold on a little longer. Rhodey knew he wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight.

* * *

 

 "I talked to Jameson down at medical, and he told me that they're going to go the disabling route. Something about the implant being able to work when they want it to? They said it was dangerous to have the implant equipped while they're still training him, in case he decides to go AWOL or something. I don't think that's gonna happen, though. If he so much as puts one foot out of line, they'll throw him right in the chair. Jameson says he's a replacement for the Soldier. Hopefully, this time, they teach him some language that's easier to learn than Russian. Last time, it took me 6 months to even be able to understand what the bastard was saying, much less speak to him," Armisten joked. Eric agreed with him about Stark being the replacement Soldier. The Soldier was HYDRA's greatest asset, and HYDRA had been suffering ever since they lost the Soldier. If everything went according to plan, Stark would be a brainless asset in about a month or so. Until then, it was up to Eric and the other agents to train him in combat. They were trying a new style of fight pattern at HYDRA that they hoped wouldn't be so easily detected by pattern detecting systems. Eric was also the Master Combatant at HYDRA, and it was up to him to teach the other agents and trainees this new fighting style. Eric had moved up the ranks of HYDRA quickly, mostly due to his intimidating stature. 

"I think he will be, too. Pierce can't get over the loss of his fuck toy. He's had so much pent-up tension in the last few months that I think a new Soldier will do away nicely with all his frustrations."

"Too bad you wouldn't let me get some while we had a chance. You and your do-gooder beliefs. They won't get you anywhere, you know," Armisten said with a frown. 

"It's  _rape,_ you fuck. It's not okay," Eric retorted.

"It seems to be okay with you when it's Pierce doing it, just not me. Funny how that works. Respect for your superiors and all," Armisten said slyly. Eric shut up. There was no point arguing about morals with a man that didn't have any to start with. Eric still had some, even choosing to be employed by an organization like HYDRA. He guessed his opinion didn't count. Everything he held to himself was discounted when he began working here. He knew working here was a shitty idea, but he had to do what he had to do. There was no backing out now. One didn't just leave HYDRA. The only way to get out was to be killed, and Eric wasn't trying to die, not yet. He still had a bit more time left.

Eric flipped the doctor off and walked to the training rooms. He had a group of trainees he was working with all afternoon, and today, they were working on using katanas. They had become somewhat impractical for carrying around and use in everyday combat, but HYDRA officials still insisted that their agents be able to use every weapon in the catalog in case of emergency. Eric had never encountered a situation where anyone he was fighting actually  _had_  a katana, but he prided himself on being able to efficiently use one nonetheless. Weapons had interested him from a young age, and he had made a hobby out of learning the names and origins of every weapon he could get his hands on. Later, his hobby fashioned into being able to use the weapons he had learned so much about to kill as quickly as possible. All humbleness aside, Eric had to admit that he was pretty damn good. He could take down a target in one shot from up to 400 feet away using a regular gun. His range got even further when he picked up a quiver. HYDRA wasn't joking when they appointed him Master Combatant. He knew what he was doing. Anyone who tried to mess with him ended up dead in 5 seconds. 3 on a good day.

Eric pushed open the door and saw the trainees messing around. One trainee, a boy of about 17, was being held upside down by his peers as he chugged water from a green plastic bottle. There was a crowd around the boy and his chums, and the crowd was counting down from 30. The water bottle was almost empty. Eric was debating making his presence known, but he was too interested in the group's activities to interrupt the drinking competition. Thank god it wasn't alcohol. Eric would have his ass handed to him by Rumlow if the trainees somehow managed to get their hands on alcohol. Besides, the trainees had been a part of HYDRA for a few months already. They were too smart to even try to smuggle alcohol into the compound.

The boy dropped the water bottle that was held to his lips and the remaining water dripped on to the floor. The crowd groaned collectively. The boy hadn't finished the water, and now the trainees were looking for a new distraction before their lesson started. Eric cleared his throat and all the heads in the room whipped around to look at him. Eric waved to the frightened looking trainees. Most of the trainees were from 18-early twenties, but there were a few older looking recruits sitting towards the back of the room, looking annoyed at the participants in the water demonstration. They all stood up when Eric waved at them, waiting for him to speak some more.

"Hello, and welcome to training session 10. Today, we will be mastering using the katana in combat. So, everyone, please grab the correct length katana from the rack based on your height. The green handled katanas are for trainees from 5 feet to 5 foot 6, red are for 5 foot 7 to six feet, and yellow are for 6 feet and above," he instructed. The trainees all scrambled to grab the right weapons for themselves and then arranged themselves alphabetically, standing from the front of the room to the back. Eric assumed his position at the front of the classroom and he grabbed a yellow katana for himself.

"So, what you're gonna want to do for Iaijutsu- the style we use here- is take your dominant hand and place it towards the top of the hilt. Tilt the sword at a 45-degree angle, and wrap your hand around it," Eric said, letting the students follow suit. "You will grasp firmly with your pinky and ring fingers around the base, and more loosely with your middle and ring fingers." The trainees looked up at him when they were finished and he continued. "You're going to follow suit with your nondominant hand, placing it about 2 inches, or as far away as you can, from the first hand." The trainees once again looked up when they were finished. "Great! You've gotten the handling down. Make sure to always keep the katana at a 45-degree angle, because you'll have more flexibility with the back and forth motions of the sword. Next, we are going to learn some basic motions with the katana, then you will group in pairs to practice on each other. The swords are real, so you can expect to draw blood. Last one standing wins. Try not to slice any limbs off for now. We only have so many vibranium arms to give out around here," Eric tried to joke. At this, all of the trainees' faces went stony. _Solider. Sore subject. Got it,_ Eric noted. He was still fairly new, but he managed to move up in the ranks fairly quickly. So what if he made shitty jokes from time to time? He wasn't brain dead, and, for the time being, he would still crank out more and more crappy jokes at the expense of HYDRA. Maybe his mouth would end up getting him in trouble one day, but that day seemed far away.

"So, next up, the moves- the first one is called-" The door opened and a serpent clad man stood in the doorway. 

"Agent Christiansen, Doctor Armisten requests your presence in the medical center. Follow me please," the man instructed. Eric turned to offer an apologetic smile at the trainees. "Don't worry, Agent. Someone will be taking over for you. Now, follow me. Stark's awake."

* * *

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve loses him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry it took me so long to update. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I should have another one up soon! Also: I’m uploading this from my phone at work so sorry if the spacing/italics/whatnot are fucked up. Thanks so much to iammisscullen for beta-ing this chapter!
> 
> —KMCL09

Steve  lay  next to the hospital bed. His hand was entwined in Tony's pale, cold one. He was unconsciously rubbing circles into the palm of Tony's hand with the pad of his thumb, attempting to pass some of the warmth from his ever-hot body into Tony's.  Tony  had been in the hospital for 3 days now, and Steve's presence by his bedside had been vigilant ever since then, only getting up to use the restroom and grab food from a worried-looking Natasha downstairs. Steve was the only one allowed in Tony's hospital room. The hospital had a strict visitors policy, only admitting legal family members into the rooms of the patients.  Steve's  (and the team's) arguments about the team being family and being allowed into Tony's room fell on deaf ears. Steve had been trying his best to update everyone on Tony's condition via text message, but the hospital rooms got poor service and Steve wasn't willing to leave Tony's bedside long enough to get better reception in case Tony needed something, or a doctor came to update Steve on his husband's condition.

 

The doctors had no idea what was wrong with Tony, and neither did Steve. Tony had passed out in the library the other day, almost hitting the floor before Steve caught him. The doctors thought that maybe Tony had had a stroke or a similar sudden illness that had affected his cardiovascular system. They had initially thought that the sickness plaguing Tony had something to do with the arc-reactor (or the subsequent removal of the reactor) and stress on Tony's heart, causing it to seize up.  Steve  had said that nothing of the sort was happening, his husband's heart condition had been fine for years, and he had been going to biannual checkups with Doctor Cho, the only doctor he trusted to handle his heart (besides Bruce), and the doctor had confirmed that Tony's heart  was in as good of a condition as  it had been before the arc reactors implementation, so heart problems were out of the question.  Steve  thought that the problems Tony was having were because of some activity on his body where it was in the other dimension, the one where he was from, and he was right. He expressed his concerns to the team members in the short break he had taken from Tony's room. 

 

Everyone thought his suspicions were correct, but there was nothing they, or the doctors, could do to make Tony better. They'd just have to wait it out and hope that the people in Tony's dimension were privy to his condition as well.  Steve  suspected foul play. He knew no one in Tony's dimension hated him enough to make him suffer like he was now, at least Steve hoped so.  It  was cruel how the people in Tony's home dimension treated him. Tony had told Steve about how the team members (except for Strange, Parker, and Vision [most of the time]) treated him, completely disrespectful to the fact that he was their benefactor and landlord, and one of the founding members of the team. Tony had told him about the conflict in Siberia and how other dimension-Steve had betrayed him, and it had taken a lot out of Tony to allow him back into the compound and lobby for his pardon in the Senate. Tony had worn himself out extensively to try and get Steve and the rest of the Avengers, who were being housed in Wakanda, to be allowed back into the United States, and Tony was having them under his roof, only to be treated like dirt and ignored by all of the other team members. 

 

Tony looked almost peaceful laying on the bed, his eyes closed and his now longer hair curling around his cheekbones, covering his face in a soft shadow from the fluorescent lighting in the hospital.  Steve  was itching to draw him like this, angelic and restful. All the lines had faded from Tony's face in his unconsciousness and he looked younger than he had in years. Steve thought that this was the most sleep his husband had gotten in months.  Steve  chuckled bitterly to himself. Maybe the sleep was doing Tony some good, but he was sure as hell that being here in the hospital bed, his only nutrients coming from a bag, wasn't the best condition he had been in.  Steve  didn't miss the days where he and Tony only spoke with adversity and butted heads over everything, both small and big. Steve smiled fondly, remembering the time he and Tony had fought for hours, arguing about whether coffee was acceptable to have after noon. Tony had said yes, that there was always a time for caffeine, and that some dumbass clock wasn't going to stop him from getting his fill. Steve had just initiated the argument only because he loved the way Tony's face would light up and fire would consume his eyes when he was passionate about something. Steve only saw that side of Tony on the battlefield and during arguments, but it was one of the things he loved most about his husband.

 

Steve was still rubbing circles on Tony's palm, completely tuned out to the rest of the world, content just being in his mind, thinking about how much he loved his husband. He had caught himself becoming more and more sentimental lately, just adoring every aspect of his husband.  Some  people fell out of love with their partners after marriage, but Steve felt that he was falling in love again every day. If he could marry Tony once daily, he wouldn't  be  opposed . Although, he figured he didn't need the law to tell him how deeply he was connected to the man laying on the bed in front of him. He knew it from the moment he woke up every morning to the moment he went to sleep that he loved this man with every fiber of his being.  Steve  just couldn't wrap his head around the fact that there was so much animosity between Tony and the other Avengers in his dimension. Steve thought that the Avengers were one giant family that he would love forever. Steve didn't understand how the bond between Tony and  his Steve was so weak that it could be broken so easily.  Tony  and Steve had screwed each other over multiple times, but their fights had always ended in a deeper love and bond being formed between them  for it . They had always embraced their differences from each other as something that made them individually unique but something that, when put together, was an indescribable force that rivaled the bonds of everyone else on the planet.  Steve  knew he loved Tony with every inch of his body, soul, and mind, and he didn't know how the other dimension's Steve could've chosen to hurt the person he loved so much. If Steve had the chance to meet the other him, he wouldn't hesitate to give that Steve a nice punch in the jaw to defend Tony's honor. Dickhead.

 

Someone knocked twice on the heavy wooden door that lead into Tony's room and pushed it open without waiting for Steve to okay their entrance. Steve was gearing up to tell off the intruder, but he wound down when he saw it was Natasha, Thor, and Bruce.  Steve  got up from his seat to hold the door in and usher them in quickly so none of the hospital personnel would see them coming into Tony's room against the rules. 

 

"Bruce! I expected more of you! Surely, you tried to talk down these two buffoons from coming in here and getting me yelled at?"  Bruce just laughed .

 

"Actually, it was  the man of green who convinced us to break into here in the first place. He can be very persuasive when he wants to be," said Thor with a grin creeping across his face.  Bruce  just shrugged, but a grin was making its way across his face, too. 

 

"If you two idiots would  more out of the way of  the  door, maybe we would be successful in making it in here undetected. But,  alas , you chose to be thick headed idiots," Natasha sighed dramatically. "Now, will you excuse me? I don't feel like getting yelled at by this nurse who practically has smoke coming out of her ears." 

 

Thor and Bruce's eyes widened like saucers and they whipped their heads around to see a very angry, very short nurse in teddy bear scrubs walking a mile a minute  in  their direction.  It  was too late for  Thor and Bruce to pull their heads into the doorway , and by the time they could hide inconspicuously inside the room, the nurse would already be in the room. Thor and Bruce had to accept the scolding from the woman. Natasha had already disappeared into the shadows.  How  the hell does she do it?  Steve thought to himself. There wasn't anywhere to hide in the room, no closet or bathroom. She had just gotten up and disappeared!  Steve  assumed 13 years in the Red Room would make a person able to do that. Steve would have to get some pointers from her later. But, for now, he had to deal with  the  red-faced nurse in front of him.

 

"Mr. Rogers, how many times do I have to tell you and your companions that they are not allowed in the patient's room because they are not family! I'm getting sick and tired of-" The nurse paused, her eyes big as the moon when she saw Thor in the corner of the room, biceps rippling as he peeled an orange and popped a slice into his mouth, moaning happily and sucking the juice off his fingers. If it was possible, the nurse's pupils got even bigger. "I'm sorry to... disturb you Mister Thor, I'll... be going now. Have a nice day!" The nurse's ears were bright red as she left the room as quickly as her feet would take her, probably to gush to her coworkers about how she had just seen Thor in one of the patient's rooms.

 

Thor stopped flexing and sighed. "There was a small child, her son I believe, who was looking at me with very wide eyes as my comrades and I made our way to the rooms of the Man of Iron. I do think that he wanted - what do you Midgardians call it - an  autograph from me. I would be happy to secure him one if the mousy woman will allow me and the rest of my teammates to visit the Man of Iron in peace. It is funny to me how easily you Midgardians can be swayed by a muscle in my  arm," Thor chuckled deeply.  Natasha  returned from behind the  curtain- how  did she manage that? to punch Thor on the shoulder.

"Maybe you could use your words next time, instead of taking us all to the gun show. That woman looked like she was about to pee her pants, you oaf," Thor looked confused but Bruce laughed. 

 

"Maybe I could take over next time, but I don't think my 'guns' are large enough as puny Banner. I could transform into the Other Guy. Maybe  that  will get these doctors to leave us alone." At that, the four of them began laughing heartily.  It  was a welcome distraction for Steve. The amount of time he had spent in here by himself (save the presence of Tony, but Steve assumed  he  didn't count because he wasn't conscious) was borderline unhealthy, and he could definitely use a healthy dose of camaraderie to make him feel better.

 

The team could always help Steve relax his mind when things got rough. Unfortunately for them, things were not yet at rock bottom. 

 

 

Rumlow walked through the dank corridor, his feet taking tentative steps so he could try and not fall on his face in presence of the wizard. Rumlow still hadn't found the wizard's room yet because the corridor was so dark, Rumlow couldn't even see his hand in front of his face. He thought that the wizard would at least have a magical torch or  something to illuminate the hallway, but it was pitch dark.  There  was no other sound in the corridor except for the hollow echo of Rumlow's struggle through it. His footsteps echoed throughout the whole hall, sounding like an army was moving through it, not one man.  Rumlow  coughed into the crook of his elbow, and suddenly, the lights turned on and Rumlow was faced with a very angry looking beefcake who had circles of orange magic surrounding his fists, which were poised in Rumlow's direction, looking ready to fire at any moment.  Rumlow  put his hands above his head in a gesture of surrender and compliance.

 

"Hey, big guy- I'm not trying to kill anyone or anything... I'm here to see Kaecel-Kaecilius. I... have a meeting with him? I'm Brock Rumlow," he said timidly.  The  man didn't lower his hands.

 

"Kaecilius, leader of the Zealots, master of the Dark Dimension, does not  take these 'meetings'. He has no time for anything you puny mortal might approach him with. Exit before I am forced to remove you," said Beefcake. Beefcake held his hands closer towards Rumlow, the magic surrounding them crackling and sparking in warning.  Rumlow  had no doubt that the man would actually use his magic to send him off, but the meeting he had scheduled with Kaecilius was very important towards Rumlow's future as a higher ranking commanding officer at HYDRA, and he wasn't going to let some man with party tricks steer him off from meeting the wizard. Rumlow was determined to see the wizard, and he wasn't about to let this bag of muscles stand in his way.  He  unsheathed a dagger in his belt and was about two seconds from throwing it right at Beefcake's head when a booming voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Stand  down, Chester," said the voice.  How  clichè , Rumlow thought.  What is this, the  Wizard of Oz ? I didn't sign up for this magic trick bullshit.

 

"Kaecilius!" Rumlow shouted. "I am here about the proposition! Now, would you  please  show yourself and call off your guard dog?" Rumlow was exasperated. Kaecilius was his last chance at possibly waking Stark from the magic he was under and making Stark into a new Soldier. If he could just do that, maybe he would gain more of Pierce's trust and move up in the ranks.  He  was sick and tired of constantly receiving insubordination from the other agents since he barely outranked them. If he completed this project, he could move up very quickly in the ranks. So, there was no dispute. Rumlow was determined to get this project fucking over with. He was also almost giddy to see the look on Rogers's face when he sent Stark to kill him and the (former) Soldier. If Rumlow was feeling generous, he would let the rest of the Avengers survive, just so he could fight their vengeance-fueled rage for the rest of eternity. Plus, Widow looked pretty good in a leather catsuit.

 

The man stepped out from the shadows. He looked sleep deprived, with dark rings of color surrounding his eyes, ranging from purple to blue to black. Rumlow assumed that maybe wizards thought they were too good for sleep. That seemed to be a common denominator with them so far. That being said, Rumlow had only encountered two so far and they both dressed in around 12,000 layers of clothing and greying hair with some look of murderous intent in their eyes.  The  wizard's hair was tied back in a limp ponytail with strands of grey hair that had fallen out of it framing his face. He looked like shit, but Rumlow was in no position to judge. If he could get done what he said he would, Rumlow would shut up about his appearance.

 

"Kaecilius."  The  man bowed at Rumlow. "I  need your help."

 

"What do you require?"  Rumlow  blinked in surprise. He hadn't thought it would be this easy. 

 

"I need to know if you can break a spell cast by the Sorcerer Supreme."  At  this, it was Kaecilius's turn to blink in surprise.

 

"It depends on the nature of the spell. I'd need to see for myself."  Rumlow  nodded.

 

" Well, I'm gonna need you to come with me then." Beefcake jumped at this, but the wizard waved him off.

 

"It'll be fine, Chester. Now, you're with HYDRA, right?"

 

"I am," Rumlow said.

 

"Good. Let's go kick some SHIELD ass."

 

Stark's condition had become stable, and Armisten had made it safe so that he could exit the cryostasis chamber without his limbs falling off from the sudden temperature change. Eric had no idea in hell of  how the doctor had done it. But, Eric had to give him credit. He had thought it wasn't possible to remove a patient in cryostasis from the chamber without changing their condition, but Armisten's imagination was continuing to surprise him.  The  doctor had done something with wires to Stark, changing the internal temperature of his body to a regular temperature. His body systems still couldn't function correctly, partly to the cryostasis sedative being pumped into Stark's veins and also because his consciousness was elsewhere. For now, Stark was a ragdoll that couldn't function on its own.  Stark  was hooked up to a multitude of machines and Eric only recognized one as a ventilator, breathing for Stark as he could not. Stark's body was very close to the surface of waking from cryostasis because it was no longer in the proper environment. He had now been transferred from the chamber to a metal operating table by Eric a few hours prior.  Armisten  had been tittering around the lab, constantly adjusting gauges, tubes, and machines to make sure that Stark wouldn't die on them. They would have their asses handed to them for sure.  The  whole of the Canadian division of HYDRA had been looking for an opportunity to make a play like this, and now that the ball was in their court, they'd do everything in their power to keep it there. They desperately needed this new addition to their team and they weren't about to let it slip out of their grasp.

 

The process of converting Stark had been harder than they had envisioned, and the agents had 100% winged the capture, so there was no plan on what to do with Stark once he got in their hands. They were forced to keep Stark in this half-cryostasis stage because if they woke him, his body wouldn't be able to sustain itself with his entire mind, conscious and unconscious, elsewhere.  They  were in a period of limbo until they got someone to break the spell. Then, the mental conditioning would begin.

Eric thought the whole procedure was not worth it, but if he expressed his real feelings, some other dim-witted senior officer would probably demote him, and Eric wasn't trying to get his privileges stripped away, the ones he had worked so hard for. For now, he would put up with all the shit Armisten gave him.  This  whole project, should it be successful, was the coattails that most of the agents would be riding on to get themselves in higher-ranking positions, Eric included. His title as Master Combatant should get him some extra points, but it was nothing to count on. If he already hadn't gone further up into the ranks after earning that title, he wasn't sure he was. The entirety of HYDRA's seniority system was merit-based, and Eric was relatively new and hadn't formed any trust bonds with anyone besides Armisten (if Eric could even count him).

 

"Okay, so we need to debrief. We've removed all implants, neutralized the nanobots, and regulated his temperature... I don't know what more we can do before Rumlow gets here with that magician of his. Hopefully, the magician can remove whatever bullshit spell is on Stark ;  or else we'll have a pissed off Rumlow on our tails, which I kinda want to avoid if you know what I mean," said Armisten. 

 

"Do yourself a favor and  don't  call this guy a magician to his face. I  head  he takes this magic stuff pretty seriously, and there's no telling what he'll do to you if he hears you calling him that. He's more powerful than the Sorcerer Supreme himself, and I'm sure he won't think twice about snapping his fingers and putting your body into two different dimensions at once," Eric replied.

 

"Whatever, Christiansen. You're the one who can't shut his damn mouth, not me."

 

Eric shrugged. "Touchè." However, Eric knew how to shut the hell up when he needed to. Most of the time, he just  chose  not to.

 

"So," the doctor continued, "Our safest bet is to keep him on this bed and continue the nutrient drip. His body can't function on its own, so if we were to remove the tubing, he would most likely die. We should keep him here until Rumlow arrives."  Eric nodded.

 

There was a sharp knock on the door.  Speak of the devil , Eric thought.  Rumlow barged inside with a homeless-looking man in tow.

 

"Christiansen, Armisten. This is the sorcerer. You are to watch over his proceedings and not to interrupt. Stay behind the glass partition," Rumlow barked and left the room.  The new man nodded at Eric.

 

Eric and the doctor scrambled to follow his orders as the sorcerer rolled up the sleeves of his tan tunic past his elbows to begin his work.  The  man cast a set of inscriptions on the perimeter of the room with a sort of black chalk that he procured from a pocket  in  the multilayered outfit he was wearing. He then made a series of gestures with his arms.  Eric  watched in amazement as rings of blue magic swirled around the man's arms, lighting up the dimly lit lab in a cool glow. The man directed the blue magic towards Tony, but the magic, when it touched Stark, flew back into the air, away from Stark.  The  man's brow furrowed in concentration as he tried to devise a new way to enter his magic into the Sorcerer's. The magic sparked and popped as it encountered what was now an orange haze surrounding Stark, representative of the Sorcerer's magic. Eric assumed the blue magic was that of the new man and the orange was that of the Sorcerer Supreme.

 

The man gestured in the air and his magic formed a sharp blade of fizzling magic. The man carefully grasped it in his hands and thrust it into the haze of orange. The magic dagger crackled and sparked again and the man growled in frustration as the dagger was rejected by the orange magic once more. He tried a few more times to thrust the dagger into the orange surrounding Stark, trying to undermine the strength of the orange with blue. He tried Stark's chest, his head, and his torso, which all failed.  The  man looked angry, his eyes flashing with vehemence. The man raised his arms above his head and the (now dark) blue magic sizzled with electricity as it wrapped around his extended arms like coils of ribbons, the tendrils sparking like fire. The man's eyes lit ablaze with a blue lightning, almost black. He raised his arms further above his head, clasped his hands together, and plunged his hands into Stark's chest in one swift motion. The blue and orange met in the center of the collision, fire against electricity.  The  man yelled in what Eric thought was pain, presumably from the strength and energy being sucked out of the man as his magic battled with the Sorcerer's in a breathtaking display that had Eric and the doctor's eyes widening in wonder at the show before them. The man let out a yowl that had the walls shaking, kicking his magic up a notch until lightning was coming out every inch of his skin, the fire protecting Stark rising up to combat it. There was no clear winner, not yet, but it seemed from Eric's vantage point that the flames were beginning to dim as the electricity fought it down. 

 

A few more minutes passed with the flames decreasing more rapidly than the lightning was. The man was beating the Sorcerer's magic! Eric was astonished at the sight- his mind taking in all the sights and sounds in at once, the flashes of color: orange and blue, the screaming of the man, the crackling of the electricity and fire, the sizzling of the inscriptions as they glowed gold. 

 

Finally, with one last yell from the man, he put all he had into the lightning, and he finally,  finally,  extinguished the flames. As soon as he did, he dropped like a bag of potatoes onto the floor.

 

"Christiansen, help him out. Prop him up onto a chair \-  I'll take care of Stark," Armisten ordered. 

 

Eric stalked over to where the man had fallen into a heap on the floor, putting his hands under the man's arms and  hefting  him up over his back. Eric walked over to a chair and set the men gently down onto it, securing his head from lolling side to side.  The  man looked to be completely out of it. Eric had to give him props for being able to hold his magic as long as he had, and also for being able to extinguish the flames of the Sorcerer's magic. He deserved his rest, and, when he woke, a large sum of money from HYDRA officials.

 

After the man had been taken care of, Eric joined Armisten at the table where Stark's still-limp body lay.

 

"I need to make sure none of his internal organs got damaged and also that his consciousness has returned to his body, and that his organs can begin to function without assistance from the machines," said the doctor.  Eric  helped him by using a stethoscope to listen for his breathing and a steady heart rate and to gauge whether or not they could detach the wires from his body. 

 

"His heart rate right now is 64 bpm, and his breathing is sounding good, although shallow \-  but that can be expected at the moment due to his current condition," Eric informed the doctor, who nodded in reply.

"None of his organs seem to be damaged from the magic. I think the man really must've known what he was doing\- nothing other than his mental state seems to be different. I think the magic was able to pull him out of the other dimension and back into this one. I'm going to say that it's safe to stop regulating his internal temperature and remove the machines from him. If everything goes according to plan, he should be awake in a day or two."

 

"So, what do we do in the meantime?" Eric asked.

 

"We talk to Rumlow."

 

Steve gasped. The hospital bed that Tony had been laying in a few minutes earlier was empty, looking as if no one had ever occupied it in the first place. What was going on? 

He walked over to where Natasha was sleeping on the sterilized chair in Tony's room and shook her awake.

 

"Nat! Nat!"  She  woke with the second shake. Perks of being a trained spy, right?

 

"What do you want, Steve?"  She  hissed, voice growly with disuse.

 

"It's Tony \-  he's gone! There's nothing left in his bed \-  no hospital gown, IV, identification bracelet- nothing! What's going on?" Steve asked,  desperate .

 

Natasha shot up out of her chair. "He's... gone? He wouldn't just leave us like this without saying something first, so I'm sure he's  either a, in trouble ,  or b, just in the bathroom or something," she said, partly to convince herself and partly to convince the others.

 

Some of the tension in Steve's shoulders dissipated. There was no need to be stressed out. Surely, his husband could manage to go to the bathroom on his own, right?  Unless something was actually wrong, a small part of Steve thought. He decided he'd better go check in the bathroom, just in case. Tony hadn't been awake when Steve had gone to sleep, but there was a chance he was now awake and walking around.

 

There was no bathroom attached to the room they were currently occupying (which made no sense to Steve \-  how was Tony supposed to take a shower in private?), so Steve decided he'd check the public one closest to the room. Tony couldn't've made it that far from the room  with his injuries without assistance from a nurse , which Steve doubted he'd ever ask for. He was too proud for his own good. 

 

Steve pushed open the door to the bathroom. All of the stall doors were empty, no occupants at this time of night. Or was it day?  Steve had been cooped up in the hospital for too damn long.

 

If the bathroom was empty, that  means  Tony must be somewhere else in the hospital, likely in the cafeteria, getting some coffee to drink. The coffee probably wasn't a good choice for Tony to drink while his body was weak and full of medication, but Steve assumed soon the hospital personnel would learn that it was a suicide mission to get between Tony and a cup of coffee. He would tear the obstacle apart with his bare hands if it meant he could get his hands on the cup of the stuff.  Steve  had once heard him offering Fury his first-born child if it meant he was allowed to bring a bag of coffee grounds with him into an undercover mission in a safe house in Peru. Fury had learned the hard way about what would happen if he withheld the caffeinated drink from Tony.

Steve's best chance to find him would probably be with a cup of coffee in his hands, so he set out to the cafeteria.  But what if he wasn't there? What if something is actually wrong? said a voice in the back of Steve's mind. He flinched and shook it off. Nothing was wrong! His husband was just getting something to drink! Right? 

 

Tony wasn't in the cafeteria. He wasn't in the waiting room, at the vending machine, in one of the doctors' offices, reading a magazine on a couch downstairs. He wasn't anywhere. He was-Steve struggled to grasp the concept-he was gone. Steve knew it would happen eventually, that the Tony from the other dimension would inevitably leave, that he would leave Steve to pick up the tattered pieces of his own broken heart, but Steve had at least thought that they would get a proper goodbye, probably full of tears, maybe they would make love in a room full of flower petals and sweetly scented candles, but absolutely not this. Why would Tony leave like this? No warning? No goodbye? It wasn't like the Tony Steve had grown to know and had fell in love with all over again. Not like him at all. Steve knew the version of himself in Tony's home dimension was a bag of dicks with legs, but he never in a million years could've anticipated Tony leaving like this. 

 

Steve sat on one of the antiseptic-saturated chairs  in the closest waiting room with his head buried in his hands, contemplating how he was going to move forward. Would he get his own husband back? What had happened to the other Tony? Was he safe back home? How would he even go about making sure of that? Was there a way he could communicate between the two dimensions? What was he going to  do? ( That was, if he could do anything at all.  Steve  felt like an ant burning under a magnifying glass, being slowly destroyed by a higher power, with no choice in the matter except to stay where he was and take it to the best of his ability, willing himself to ride out the pain as long as he could until he eventually cracked and had to give in to the pressure. ) 

 

What could he do?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please make sure to leave kudos and comments! I really want to hear your opinions on how my OC’s- Eric Christiansen and Doctor Armisten- are playing out so far. Thanks for reading!
> 
> —KMCL09


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve begins the search for Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all-  
> Sorry this took me so long to write! I haven't been able to write that much as of late due to some health complications but I promise I'm not abandoning this fic! I'll have the next chapter up as soon as I can. Enjoy!
> 
> \--VioletBlur

"Nice of you to wake up, Stark," said a sneering voice from above him. Tony couldn't make out the face, vision still blurry from what he was sure was a slurry of drugs being pumped into his veins, but he could sure as hell place the voice. 

" _Rumlow_ ," Tony growled. He tried to keep his voice sounding as intimidating and strong as possible, but his voice came out more like a whimper due to it not being used for,  _how_  long was it now? Was Tony still in the Orcacto- _Oracto_ clitic dimension? Where was he?

"Hello, kitten," Rumlow purred in his ear. Tony attempted to shiver uncomfortably with Rumlow's voice in his ear, but he found he was restrained to the cold table underneath him with leather shackles around his limbs and chest. "I bet you're wondering just what you have gotten into," Rumlow continued. "Well, I'm sorry to say, you're back home. Your little mission to heal with your  _Stevie_  was unsuccessful, as you can probably tell." Tony winced. "It was  _Stevie_ you were looking for, right? Isn't that what you kept muttering when the sorcerer was bringing you back? Am I right, boys?"

"Yes, Commander Rumlow, sir," affirmed a deep voice from behind Tony. Tony's eyes still hadn't focused and he had a headache that was about to split his head in two. It was a miracle he was even able to hear the men in the room, much less open his eyes. What was going on?

"No need for the formalities, Commander Christiansen. After all, we are now equal in rank," said Rumlow. His statement was punctuated by a small gasp Tony assumed came from the same man who had spoken earlier. "Now, tell me about what you and Doctor Armisten have planned for our new little boy toy, here."

"Well, Co-Rumlow, we were going to put him through another CAT scan to see if everything is in the right shape, then we're going to release him to the mental conditioning sector," said the huge man in the obscenely tight grey uniform that was now taking up 90% of his freshly-minted vision. Tony winced again. HYDRA was probably going to test the replicate of Erskine's serum on him, the same way they had to Barnes. Maybe, if he were lucky and cooperated with Rumlow and the other HYDRA bastards, he could avoid being put into the brain-melting chair Steve had told Tony they had used on Barnes. Tony doubted he would truly be able to avoid it, though. Rumlow, the sadistic dickhead that he was, would most likely be turned on at the sight of Tony's brain being liquefied.

Rumlow nodded his approval at his comrade-  _Christiansen_ 's statement. "Well, get to it! We don't have all eternity until the Avengers find out where we're housing this bastard and what we're doing to him. Preferably, we'll have him all nice and sweet and brain-dead by the time they get here. That way, even if we don't succeed in making him into another super soldier, we've at least succeeded into taking down one of the founding members of the Avengers," Rumlow said. He moved even closer to Tony, and began stroking Tony's hair, his kevlar-gloved hand covering almost all of Tony's head. Tony begrudgingly admitted to himself that Rumlow really did fill out his suit well, all strong muscles and smooth curves. Tony shook his head in disgust at himself, which Rumlow took to be Tony being afraid.

"Look how prettily he just lays there while I pet him," Rumlow cooed while Tony growled, tugging against the leather restraints that kept him strapped to the table. "It's like he couldn't even get up and defend himself even if he wanted to." Rumlow's voice dropped to a deep whisper, "that could sure come in handy." The doctor, Tony assumed he was such, due to his grey uniform having a red cross stitched to the left arm, just below a patch of the HYDRA serpent, snapped his Commander's back with a towel covered in what Tony surmised was his blood, and a few droplets flew from the towel and landed on Tony's cheeks.  _Gross._

"Hey, asshole, I get first dibs. I'm the one who managed to get him here and all. You couldn't have gotten him here without my undercover work in the SHIELD hospital," said the doctor, grinning smugly. So he wasn't still in the other dimension. Rumlow said he was back home, but he didn't think it was  _home_  home. How did they break Strange's magic? Was Strange the sorcerer they were talking about? Surely he wouldn't have switched sides so easily. He didn't seem too bad from what Tony had seen of him so far. Maybe it was someone else? But who else would be able to break the Sorcerer Supreme's magic? Wasn't that the whole deal with being the Sorcerer Supreme? That their magic was the strongest of all? Tony couldn't think too hard about it, the drugs he was under the influence of still making the edges of his brain fuzzy.

Rumlow looked slightly baffled at the doctor's outburst, but nevertheless, he retracted his arms to his sides. "You're right. Well, I must be going now, trainees to torture and such." He grinned devilishly and walked out the silver double doors, leaving them flapping for a few moments before settling back to their undisturbed positions in his wake. Tony tried to turn his head to the best of his ability towards the boulder of a man- _Christiansen-_ Tony's mind supplied, but the thick leather strap across his forehead dug into his temples too tightly to bear, so Tony gave up with a whimper. Hopefully, Steve and whoever else was looking for him would remember the chip he had Pepper install behind his spinal cord in his neck. 

"I'm afraid not, Stark," said the doctor. "My friend Christiansen and I removed every last one of your little  _enhancements._  Quite an impressive collection you had there, I must confess. Took him and me almost six hours to get them all." Had Tony really said that out loud?

"You did. Now, about the  _thing_  in your chest- would you care to divulge us as to how it works? Or would you prefer us to just cut it open and find out? And what about those marks on your left arm?"

Tony ignored the second part of the question. "Well, dumbass," Tony began, "if you cut it out of my chest you would be left with one less potential super soldier for you and the other HYDRA scumbags to rape and brainwash. Your choice, honestly. I don't really care either way, because I know that the Avengers are going to show up and kick your asses back to the dimension I came from before you can so much as lay a finger on me." His attempts at sounding nonchalant were feeble, he knew, but it was better not to show weakness. He wanted to keep his brain as long as possible, thank-you-very-much.

The man Christiansen looked at him with a pitying glance, but the doctor just laughed and walked closer to where Tony was strapped to the table. Up close, Tony could see the doctor's name embroidered into his HYDRA jumpsuit. Dr. Brandon Armisten. Well, good news then! Tony could tell the Avengers whose asses to kick especially hard. 

"I don't know about that, Stark. You see, all I have to do is twist this little knob here-" Armisten paused as he watched Tony's face become more smooth, his arms falling flat at his sides with nothing to support them, "and you're under. Just like that." Armisten laughed and Eric shot him a dirty look.

"Look, man, he's not a guinea pig. We're not supposed to play with him, just get him into the CAT machine and send him on his way to mental conditioning," said Eric. 

"If I fuck with him now, he's closer and closer to the breaking point, thus making the job easier for the others. You see, I'm a team player," Armisten said with a shark-like smirk. Eric just rolled his eyes. 

"Let's get him in and out of there as quickly as possible. I don't feel like dealing with him for longer than I have to."

* * *

 

 Steve was awoken from a restless sleep by FRIDAY. "Captain Rogers, sir, Dr. Strange is here to see you and Colonel Rhodes. He says it's urgent." Steve rolled over on to his stomach and groaned. He'd just barely been able to fall asleep for the first time in a couple of days, but only from utter exhaustion. He'd been spending all his time in Tony's lab, looking for a ping from the tracking chip in his spine, researching for who might've taken him, looking for any signs that he was still alive. He'd managed to spend more time awake than anyone else (perks of being a super soldier), and he'd spent every second of that time looking for his ex-boyfriend. Just thinking ex made Steve cringe and bury his face further into the pillow.

"Captain Rogers? Shall I tell him to come back tomorrow morning?" Asked FRIDAY.

"No, don't. I'm sure Strange wouldn't be here unless it was an absolute emergency. What time is it?" 

"4 AM, sir. Shall I let him in?"

"You haven't already? Yes, yes, let him in. Tell him I'll be down in five," Steve said. He rose from his crumpled bedsheets and began scrambling around to find something suitable to wear to meet Strange downstairs. He'd only met the man once before, but only very briefly. His first impression of the man had led him to believe that he was a no-nonsense kind of man. If he were here in the middle of the night, something was severely wrong. Steve had a bad feeling it had something to do with Tony.

After tugging on an olive henley that he was pretty sure he forgot to put in the laundry last week, Steve opened his door and crept towards the kitchen. He didn't want to wake anyone else in the compound at this time of night (or was it morning? Steve couldn't be sure. Usually he'd be woken up by FRIDAY opening his blinds in about 2 hours, so he couldn't really tell). Everyone had been in a state of disarray since Tony disappeared, although some were less disorganized than others. Surprisingly, Bucky was almost as fretful as Steve. Steve contemplated waking him up for this, but he knew Bucky hadn't been getting any sleep, either. Steve had been startled to find out that Bucky actually cared about Tony. He knew Bucky felt apologetic about what the Soldier had done and what he had done in Sokovia, but Steve didn't think he'd actually want to try for friends with the man. Steve suspected that most of the reason why Bucky'd tried to make up with Tony wasn't for the sake of his desired friendship (or, at the very least, mutual tolerance), but because he knew how much Steve cared about Tony. And for that, Steve loved Bucky even more. 

When Steve got downstairs, he saw that Rhodey and the doctor were leaning against the counter, Rhodey consoling the man as he clutched a mug in his hands like his life depended on it. Steve cleared his throat and both men whipped their heads around to look at the intruder. When they saw it was merely Steve, their respective eyebrows came back to rest in the normal position as Rhodey inclined his head towards Steve in a respectful gesture. 

"Gentlemen," Steve addressed them, "what's going on here? Does it have something to do with Tony?"

Strange nodded, his expression grave. "I'm not quite sure about what happened, but I can tell that my magic has been interfered with and that the spell I cast on Tony has been broken. By whom I don't know for sure. I know there are only a few sorcerers out there whose magic is strong enough to combat mine, but there are some sorcerers out there whom I do not know. I tell you this confidently: no sorcerers associated with the Sanctum Santorum had anything to do with this. We all learn our magic the same way, and the magic has a telltale sort of signature if you will. I would be able to distinguish the magic from the Sanctum from any other sorcerer's magic. Unless that is, they figured out a way to diminish the strength of the signature to such a small tidbit that my magic wouldn't be able to discover it. I know a sorcerer or two who has been able to achieve this feat and they are all not, as Tony would say, 'good news'. I'm positive this kidnapping has something to do with a sorcerer with a slight against me, not Tony. But, the real question is: is this sorcerer being assisted by a greater evil? Is it the Ten Rings again? HYDRA? Someone else? Colonel Rhodes tells me that all enhancements in Tony's body have been removed and disabled."

"What?" Steve hadn't heard this, not yet anyway.

Rhodey looked sheepish. "I'm sorry, I really meant to tell you earlier, but you were asleep. I figured I should give you some time to rest; if the bags under your eyes got any bigger, your whole face would be purple," said the colonel. 

Steve sighed. "Well, what do you think our next move is? We can't just sit idly by as harm comes to him. We have to  _do_  something, and the problem is I have no idea what. If the tracking chip is gone, and the spell is broken, he's vulnerable to whoever has him. I'm not used to feeling this powerless and, frankly, it's not a nice feeling," said Steve. 

"I agree with you," Rhodey said. "I have no idea what our course of action should be, but I know I can probably enlist some favors from some of my military compatriots. Hopefully, someone somewhere has heard something and can help us."

"Good idea. Maybe I can ask around SHIELD? Maybe they'll let me look into the camera footage from the hospital so I can see what went down," Steve offered.

"I'll check with the other members of the Sanctum."

"We should get started then. Good luck," said Rhodey.

"Good luck to you too," said Steve. He walked out of the kitchen and back to his bedroom. The civilian branch of SHIELD headquarters didn't open until 8 AM, and, until then, Steve planned on getting more sleep so he could be better rested for what he was sure was a grueling day ahead of him.  

* * *

Steve got to the New York headquarters just as the lights flickered on. He wasn't able to fall back asleep after he had woken up in the middle of the night, and he had spent the time waiting for the office to open for the day nursing a cup of coffee on the couch, trying and failing to cheer himself up by reading a few chapters from a book Bucky had gotten him at the bookstore they went to together last week. It was good so far, but Steve really couldn't concentrate when his mind was elsewhere.

As soon as the clock struck 7:30, Steve hopped on his motorcycle and tore out of the upstate New York countryside and made his way for the 8 AM opening. He had a feeling he was going to be there form opening till close, using all his time to find information on where Tony might be. He may act all nonchalant on the outside, but he knew both he and his ex-boyfriend harbored the same feelings about each other still, but they were both too scared to do anything about it, constantly walking in circles around each other, trying to see who would have enough courage to make the first move. Steve also felt like it would once again fall on him, the stubborn man that Tony was. He just hoped he was right in his suspicions and that Tony would take him back.

When Steve parked his motorcycle in the parking garage and made his way to the rear entrance, the security guard at the door looked surprised to see him there, and Steve couldn't tell whether it was because he was Captain America or that he was here at precisely 8 AM, way before the SHIELD personnel deigned to roll in. Sharon had told him that no one except Fury and a few other high-rankers came to the office before nine.

It turned out the security guard was surprised because he was Captain America because the guard didn't even ask him for identification, just ushered him through the door like he was some sort of celebrity, which Steve assumed was probably right. If any of the general population had even 1% of the obsession with him that Coulson had had, they'd be laying themselves across the road like a carpet for him to walk on. It was a little disturbing. He was a war criminal, after all. 

The atrium was deserted which was pretty disconcerting to Steve. He had only seen it hustling and bustling with assorted SHIELD personnel and others, as he had never had reason to be here as early as he was, and it felt weird to see no one here. Since that was the case, he would just have to find his own way through their database.

"It should be easy," he rationalized under his breath. 

"And what would that be, Captain?" asked a voice from behind him. Steve turned around slowly, and, to his (sort of) relief, it was Sharon Carter. Thankfully no one else had caught on to what he was doing here. He was sure whoever got in his way would probably leave him alone when he disclosed what exactly he was doing here, but he didn't want to talk to anyone or make his presence known.

"Sharon! How are you? I wasn't really expecting to see anyone here this early," said Steve.

"I'm doing well, thanks. I'm here early, because, as you know, Aunt Peggy used to always say it's better to be early and alone-"

"Than late and sorry!" They finished together and shared a laugh. 

"You know, we're all supposed to be here at 8 AM sharp, but no one except newbies and the higher-ups actually takes it seriously. I kinda like being here before everyone else gets here. Gives me more time to concentrate on my work. Too bad I'm not paid hourly."

"I know the feeling. It was good to see you, Sharon, but I really need to get going. I have important business to attend to. Have a nice day!" Said Steve, who was beginning to walk away, not listening to hear if Sharon had said anything in response. He and Sharon weren't as close as they used to be, that one kiss they'd shared had been a mistake in Steve's eyes. He didn't want to linger around her for longer than he had to. Everything surrounding Peggy and her death was too painful for him to bear, and being with Sharon just seemed to rehash those feelings. 

Steve was so caught up in walking away that he didn't notice Sharon was calling his name until she was tugging at his elbow. Steve looked up. "Huh?"

"Are you deaf?" Asked Sharon with a forced laugh. "I was going to ask you if you needed any help with anything. I know this place better than anyone, having practically grown up here and all." Steve forced a smile in return. 

"No, I'm fine, thank you. I have a fair idea of what I'm looking for," Sharon's smile faltered for a minute, but she released his elbow. 

"Well, you know where to find me if you need anything. Have a good day, Steve."

"Same to you, Sharon," said Steve. He nodded at her and proceeded in the same direction he had been walking to earlier. He knew the security office was down this corridor somewhere. It might take him a bit longer to find it on his own, but he didn't want to spend longer than he had to around Sharon. Every exchange since Germany had been awkward between them, and he really didn't want to bear it for longer than he had to.

Steve figured he could find the security camera tapes in the office and try to identify the people who broke into the SHIELD hospital from them. The hospital was a bit down the road from the main headquarters and not as closely guarded as the building he was in now, but guarded well nonetheless. By the time Tony's captors had gotten him out of SHIELD, the security team hadn't arrived for another three minutes. It had been proposed by the other members at SHIELD that it would be a good idea to move the hospital into this building after what'd happened to Tony, but they'd agreed it would be too much of a hassle to move all the equipment and professionals from there to here, even though it was just a mile down the street.

The verdict had made Steve want to scream. What if the same thing that happened to Tony happened to someone else? What if the laziness of the SHIELD board let yet another innocent person be kidnapped and possibly killed by now? Steve would never know what ran through the minds of those people besides the fact that they were filled with greed and lust for money. SHIELD was supposed to be only involved with protecting the people, but it had grown corrupt like every other governmental institution. What a to Peggy's name. It was quite unfortunate, but Steve was going to do something about it even if it meant becoming a board member himself. After he found Tony, of course. That was at the top of his list at the moment.

Steve's feet had taken him to the security wing of the headquarters and he was met with a red-headed receptionist poised behind the counter, posture perfect but her face was bored. As he approached her, she looked up from what appeared to be a game of Sudoku in the newspaper.

"Can I help you?" She asked. Steve gathered that she didn't recognize him, and it honestly came as a surprise. He and the other Avengers were covered so extensively in the media lately that anyone who didn't live under a rock would know him from a mile away.

"Yeah, actually. I was wondering where I could find the security tapes from the SHIELD hospital a little while back? I know that all the footage is imported here, and it's urgent that I get a look at them," explained Steve. The receptionist didn't look impressed.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about," said the receptionist, whose nametag read  _Elizabeth._  

Steve sighed and fished out his SHIELD identification card from his wallet and flashed it under the scanner, which beeped and blinked green. The woman looked startled. "So, where can I find the footage?"

"Down the hall and to the right, sir." She looked a bit nervous like she wasn't expecting Steve to outrank her in clearance. Steve just grimaced and walked to the room. Inside the room, there were high tech screens stacked on top of one another, reaching from a little below Steve's hip level up until the top of the 15-foot ceilings. It would probably take Steve a while to sort through all the footage from the day Tony was kidnapped, but then again, he had all day. He'd better get started now.

* * *

 

 A few hours later and nothing had happened yet. Steve had thought about fast-forwarding until something happened, but he was too entranced watching Tony's grainy body on the screen. The lights around Tony glowed orange, and he had a multitude of tubes and wires running all over his body. His eyes were closed and he was suspended in the liquid. His skin looked to be a bit clammy, if not sweaty, but he also looked  _peaceful._ All the lines on his face, all the wrinkles, melted back into perfect olive skin. He looked like he did when Steve would wake up earlier than him just to watch him sleeping. Steve's favorite memory of him was the morning he had waken up about an hour earlier than Tony, like he normally did, and the sunlight was streaming through the white linen curtains in the room they shared, the soft and hazy morning light illuminating his freckles along his cheekbones and the small pieces of golden hair that infiltrated the brown. His long black eyelashes cast shadows on his cheeks, and his skin was glowing after spending a fortnight in the Italian countryside with Steve a week earlier, the remnants of the sunlight still making his skin the olive color that Steve loved so much, his Italian heritage making his skin okay against the sun. Steve, however, was a Brooklynite born and raised, and his porcelain skin didn't take too well to the sun rays and he had received quite a bit of teasing from Tony as Tony had to lather his back with sunscreen every day before they went out.

Steve had been keeping his sketchbook in the drawer in his bedside table lately for times like these when his soon to be fiancè looked like an angel. Steve was planning on proposing next week, he had planned a picnic in Central Park complete with a serenade from a string quartet and all of Tony's favorite foods. There was a special firework presentation to celebrate the victory of the Battle of New York, and Steve had thought it would be the perfect time to show Tony how far they'd come.

Steve felt himself tearing up in the security cam room and he wiped his eyes off on the sleeve of the sweater he was wearing, which he just noticed had been a gift from the man himself. Steve was a wreck. He needed to suck up his pride and go and apologize to Tony. He wasn't sure he could hold off much longer.

He was distracted from nitpicking at his sweater when a flash of red caught his eye. He looked back to the screens- maybe it was Tony's captors? But the only thing he saw made him sicker than seeing people manhandle Tony could make him. Tony's arm had become unfurled from the position it was in-crossed over his chest- and his forearm was on full display to the camera. His left forearm was covered in varying stages of red, pink, and crimson. A series of small cuts was winding its way up the inside of his arm on the smooth yet strong skin. The incisions looked different from what they had looked like when Tony was putting the suit's chips in his arms, but they also looked to be manmade. Some of the cuts looked to be healed, but some of them looked as if they had been erected the day before. 

Steve's eyes widened in sadness and fear as he took in the sight before him- Tony's perfect face and body, his destroyed arm. Steve instantly felt rage. Not directed towards Tony,  _of course,_  but directed at his own idiocy. He  _knew_  Tony struggled with mental illness and  _what_  exactly had he decided to do? Ruin what he was sure was one of the very few good things in both of their lives. He left Tony in Siberia to  _die._  He felt sick to his stomach. He  _caused_ this. He  _betrayed_  Tony. He had to fix this. He needed to fix this. If he didn't, he wasn't sure what would come next, but he was sure it wasn't going to be good. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on Tumblr- @violet-blur

**Author's Note:**

> I don't want to write too big a spiel because I'm sure no one except me actually reads author's notes, but it's worth a try. Thank you for bearing with me through this hellish chapter of my own composition. I'm kinda proud of it, but also not proud of the fact that it took me 2 weeks to write. If you want to continue reading, it's best to subscribe to me so you can get updates when I post (however sporadically). I hope you enjoyed! Please make sure to leave comments and kudos as they are the fuel that keeps me writing. Much love!
> 
> -KMCL09


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